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CHOICES ~ HEALING ~ LOVE
"Coping with Caregiving" It's difficult accepting that we are entering fall. Many of you who know me will remember that I always say Christmas is just around the corner once Memorial Day has come and passed. The time away from the site has been very profitable for me in terms of beginning to get my own health in balance and in establishing business connections for NOFEC so I am truly blessed and grateful for the opportunity. While I knew it would be a long journey through lots of paper work etc, I could never have truly imagined how much was involved. New York City still isn't the same since 9/11 last year. All sorts of plans are being arranged to memorialize the tragic time frame. I, myself, still feel numb as I look down certain avenues where I could view these majestic towers and I miss not seeing them. I get a choked feeling in my throat and heart. While I don't live in fear of more attacks, I know that no matter what precautions have been taken by the government, there will just never be enough. The scale is just too grand to properly man huge skyscraper buildings, airports and so much more. So security issues look like they may be in place, but the underlying truth is it is just a superficial band-aid. The heaviness diminishes somewhat day to day for me. I can't help but wonder how many millions are still traumatized by the events and how many may not even be aware of all that they are holding in throughout the world. Evidently there are many because NOFEC has been asked to make several outreach presentations on how to cope with the lingering effects for several organizations and their staff. Last Acts.Org has compiled a list of national events and programs that will take place. Click on this link to see the lists: LastActs.Org In the midst of this time of memorializing, I was also deeply disturbed by the Congress passing legislation that allotted $356 billion dollars for the military. I just was speechless at the numbers. I could only think if one or two percent was allocated to caregivers, how wonderful this could be...While I am not making a political statement, it makes me wonder where the priorities of the nation are. I encourage you to vote, write letters and respond to the needs of the caregiver whenever you are asked to do so in order to make a difference and to have your voice be counted. While no one is calling "Family Caregiving a crisis at this point" the number "54 million" quoted by the NFCA is an indication of where we are headed. There are fundraisers for all types of diseases and none for caregivers. The numbers increase daily for caregivers who are suffering from isolation and depression and their immune systems as well as their overall mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health are at risk when they are totally immersed with no assistance or support. While Empowering Caregivers is still limited in staff, we do expend quality energy in bringing you information, news, articles and the emotional and spiritual support which is so urgently needed by so many of you. We take great pride in providing these services. As we enter our 4th year, we are grateful for your support and feedback. Let your voice be heard. Let us know what you want and what your needs are.... we are here for you. This fall there are many events related to caregiving that will be taking place. 2002 International Conference on Family Care, Hosted by the National Alliance for Caregiving (USA), will bring diversified caregiving contingencies from all parts of the globe to D.C. in Oct, The Wellspouse Foundation will be sponsoring their annual conference in Philadelphia in October, September 8th is Grandparent's Day and ASTH - And Thou Shalt Honor will debut on PBS on October 9th. Also check the schedule and link for Jacqueline Marcell's Internet radio program tat takes place on Saturdays. The program is much needed and Jacqueline fills each week with several special guests who offer so much to caregiving, so please check it out. There are over 35 new articles at the site. I hope to see you at the boards once again and in the chats.. This is a lengthy newsletter so I won't delay you any longer.... Richest Blessings to you on your journey. Empowering Caregivers / NOFEC Gear: Empowering Caregivers and the National Organization For Empowering Caregivers now offers customized logo products for your personal use. Your purchases help us to maintain this site and reach out in helping all of you..Empowering Caregivers Gear Two New Articles Added To The Site Regarding I for one haven't been listening to the hype on the television and radio that started a few weeks ago here in NYC. I am grateful to two very special therapists who deal with grieving that have contributed articles to the site for the two new articles that arrived today 9/8/2002. I am adding them into the newsletter as well as doing a special mailing so that those of you who are in need of healing on deeper levels will feel supported. They are as follows:
~ Work has begun on developing the NOFEC web site at www.nofec.org. We are looking to incorporate special photographs of members' caregiving their loved ones. Rather than purchasing stock photos, we are asking the community to participate by either sending special photos via email or snailmail. Contact us at PHOTOS For those of you whose photos are used, we will be sending some of our gifted books on caregiving to show our appreciation. Thank you for your support. Special Healing Prayers This summer has brought a tremendous amount of illness and surgeries to many current and former caregivers that are apart of the community. Please take time to send out some extra special loving thoughts to Karen Kowal, Ann Overby, one of our current hosts, Dee Ratcliff, Karen Evans and Patti St.Clair. You have all been on my mind throughout the summer and I continue to pray for easier healings for all of you. Richest blessings.... September Spotlight At The Site This month's Spotlight features two aspects of a very important organization that has been growing with coalitions and great recognition on the work they are doing to raise the consciousness of the nation on the growing needs of family caregivers. It is with great respect that we honor "And Thou Shalt Honor (ASTH)" and their PBS program, which will be airing across the nation on October 9th. See the posting under news below. Also featured is Caregivers-usa.org, a caregivers resource directory in conjunction with ASTH. Caregiver Books Given Away Monthly We have resumed our monthly book giveaway to new members at the chats and forums./message boards. Three names will be randomly chosen to receive books generously gifted to the site by authors who are well known in the field of Caregiving and End-of- Life issues. This month's recipients are: They have been mailed "Who Cares, A Loving Guide For Caregivers" by Dee Marrella. "Who Cares" gives you a special opportunity to write your story and to tell your loved ones about yourself while you are healthy and alert. Then, if and when you become less alert, your future caregivers can check this book and know exactly what you need or desire. With this book you can still have some control over your own destiny. The book is in journal form and can be filled out by middle-aged or older adults. It is an autobiography written by the individual for his / her future caregivers telling them about your past, who you currently are, what your needs and desires would be down the road. Welcome Our Newest Edition To the Experts Area: Mary C. Fridley Or click on this link: Adult Day Care: One Form of Respite for Older Adults - Terri Whirrett- Stumbling Through The Rubble- Debbie Ficocelli Elder Abuse and Neglect: In Search of Solutions - Part l & Part ll Signs & Symptoms Of Approaching Death- Hospice Patients Alliance Caregiving - A Profession And A Way Of Life - ARA AXA Foundation Family Care Resource Connection Putting Sleep Problem Myths to Bed - Sonia Ancoli-Israel, Ph.D Siblings of Children with Special Health and Developmental Needs - Donald Meyer The 9 Insights To The Wealthy Soul- By Dr. Michael Norwood l & ll Hospice Care and the Medicare Hospice Benefit-By National Hospice Foundation Ovarian Cancer: Why Can't Women Test If Men Can? By Kathy Caregiving and Teens: Caregiving? What's it all about?- NYS Office Of Aging Elderly At Most Risk For Hyperthermia & Heat Related Illnesses - NIA Keeping Cool in the Summer Heat: Guidelines for The Elderly - NYS Office Of Aging Respite For Persons With Alzheimer's Disease Or Related Dementia - Joyce H. Louis, M.S Ten Ways To Simplify Your Life by Jennifer Ottolino Your Thyroid
Macular Degeneration In Memory To All Caregivers I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what is going on in each of your heads. To do that, I tried to recall what was going on in my head when I was a caregiver for my mom. On that basis, let me make a few guesses as to what is going on in your mind. I'm almost certain it is a complicated mix of thoughts and emotions.
Let's face it, caretakers have a huge responsibility - some take on the task out of love, others out of obligation. In either case, you are "IT". You are the one bearing the burden of having another human being's welfare in your hands, an awesome responsibility! Each of us has a different set of circumstances. In my case, I left my family in Pennsylvania and traveled to New Jersey to be with my mother three days a week. For a short time, I tried to schedule days so that either one of my two sisters or I was with my mom each day of the week. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I should not force my desires on others. You know what? - I was wrong. From that point on, I never asked what they were doing. I tried to make out I was an only child. 1 would do as much as I could for my mom. What I did, I did with love and caring. My siblings, whom I love, dealt in their own ways with helping out mom. I finally found peace within - No more comparing and measuring. When I was caring for my mom, I did find ways of helping to make her life more comfortable (I was always so happy when she seemed pleased about something.) Here are some of those ways:
It is amazing what unique ideas caregivers come up with to help make their loved ones more comfortable and at peace. As I said before, when I felt my mom was comfortable and at peace, my life seemed calmer. Perhaps there can be an exchange of unique, helpful ideas you caregivers out there would like to share. Remember, You are only one person. You cannot control your loved one's aging process or happiness. Be loving and caring. Don/t expect accolades. If you truly are doing your best, be at peace. That peace will grow even stronger after your loved one is gone. Then, you will have little reason to feel guilty about doing your part during a very hard time. Please remember as you fall asleep tonight to save one big hug for yourself. Only a fellow caregiver knows how much you need it and deserve it. Copyrighted by Dee Marrella 9/11 Lights On Please join us on 9/11..we have less than two weeks to get the word out all across the nation. Let's see how powerful e-mail can be! Feel free to copy and paste this and email to your friends. Remember!!!......................9/11 LIGHTS ON! ~ Listen to Gail R. Mitchell, creator of Empowering Caregivers, www.care-givers.com and founder and President of the National Organization for Empowering Caregivers NOFEC live on Internet Radio Saturday, September 21st at 6PM EST and 3PM PST. She'll be a guest on Jacqueline Marcell's program, "Coping with Caregiving." Jacqueline is the author of, "Elder Rage, or Take My Father" Please! How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents." Call in with your questions at: 888-327-0061. The show will be archived for a month and available for listening online anytime approximately 24 hours after the taping. See: http://www.wsRadio.ws for details. For In Studio Guests:
To view listings of other dates and guest participants, please go to:http://www.elderrage.com/Events.asp AND THOU SHALT HONOR AND THOU SHALT HONOR-Caring for Our Aging Parents, Spouses, and Friends, a groundbreaking two-hour documentary hosted by award-winning actor Joe Mantegna, set to premiere on Wednesday, October 9 at 9PM on PBS (check local listings). The film and its accompanying nationwide outreach program is the first major PBS initiative on caregiving, an emerging healthcare issue of staggering proportions. Filmed all over America, the program makes it clear that today's longer life-spans come at a cost, and that a disproportionate amount of that cost is borne by those who step up to assume responsibility for their loved ones. Not everything about long-term caregiving is dark, however. This commitment can be a spiritual journey that expands the boundaries of love. AND THOU SHALT HONOR is a Wiland-Bell Production in association with Oregon Public Television (OPB) and Independent Television Service (ITVS) who are co-presenting the project. Executive producers and directors Harry Wiland and Dale Bell have each personally experienced the challenges of caregiving. Virtually no government assistance is available to those who prefer to keep their ailing elders at home The reluctance of many people to put their loved ones in a professional care environment is understandable. Professional caregivers are often underpaid and overworked. On the national average, each professional caregiver today has to tend to the needs of 11 patients – and these patients can be demanding and difficult.. The PBS broadcast AND THOU SHALT HONOR will be extended by a national outreach campaign, an extensive searchable Web site already in operation at www.thoushalthonor.org and a resource book The Caregiver's Companion, with a foreword by Rosalynn Carter, published by Rodale Inc. and PREVENTION magazine.For more information go to.ATSH ~ Theme: Family caregiving knows no international boundaries. Whether in China, Guatemala, France, Japan, the United States or any other country, family caregivers face increasing stress and health burdens as they try to cope with the demands of caring for relatives while balancing work and family. But despite the increasing media attention to this issue, there are few opportunities to share information about programs that really help family caregivers across the age span and about policies that support them. The Third International Conference on Family Care will be a forum for caregiving groups, advocates and policy makers from around the globe to share their experiences and lessons in creating innovative and effective programs to empower and assist family caregivers. Following the successful gatherings in London in 1998 and Brisbane, Australia, in 2000, this three-day conference will highlight best practices on both the governmental and private sector levels with the goal of advancing the caregiving agenda. Sessions will focus on programs and policies addressing the wide range of family caregiving situations, including:
For more information please go to:National Alliance for Caregiving ~ Renew old friendships – make new friends. Share your stories and concerns with other well spouses living with a chronically ill or disabled partner. Learn new ways to deal with the challenges of caregiving.Program highlights Outstanding workshops – Barry Jacobs: Ambivalence Revisited Special interest group meetings Great Dining (2 dinners and 2 breakfasts) plus Cocktail Hour Reception, Dancing, Comedy Show, Sightseeing and shopping in Philadelphia's historic district For information and Registration Visit our website at www.wellspouse.org Email us at wsfconf2002@wellspouse.org or call Julie DiBenedetto at 732-577-8208 ~ On Thursday, November 21st, 2002, the Professional Educational Center will host a Palliative Care conference. Distinguished speakers from leading institutions in palliative care, including Harvard Medical School, the National Institutes of Health, and the Jewish Home will share their expertise and knowledge. Physician CME's, Administrator CEU's and Nursing CU credits will be offered. Register for the upcoming conference or download and print a program and registration form. For more information, contact Naim Gribaa at 212-870-4762 or education@jewishhome.org. To register for the conference, please click on this form National Committee to Preserver Social Security and Medicare You can also send email regarding the Lifespan Respite Legislation to your Congressional delegation by going to the following link and typing in your zip code http://capwiz.com/ucp/issues/alert/?alertid=195551&type=CO. This is vitally important for all caregivers to do. Chicken Soup for the Caregiver's Soul Over 54 million Americans help care for ailing family members or friends. Millions more selflessly minister to people in daycare, emergency, and community services. While often rewarding, this benevolent care-giving requires tremendous emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. That's why we are creating Chicken Soup for the Caregiver's Soul, 101 Stories to Uplift, Honor, and Support the Caregiver. The submission deadline is December 1, 2002. For details and guidelines see www.LeAnnThieman.com or send stories with your name, address and phone number to ChickenSoup@LeAnnThieman.com. ~ Don't overlook Grandma and Grandpa on Grandparent's day! And Check out our new area on Grandparenting. Grandparent Caregivers Today, more than any other time in history, Grandparents are caring for grandchildren in a variety of new roles. Death of a parent, abandonment, parents who are in prison, substance abuse, unemployment, mental illness, divorce, teen pregnancy, violence in the family home and those whose parents work full time are just some of the reasons for this new trend. Whatever the scenario is, grandparents are overwhelmed and feeling isolated in their newly defined roles as grandparent(s) caring for their grandchildren. Check out these articles: GrandParenting Series Main:Grandparent Caregivers: Accelerates Departmental Work on the New Freedom Initiative HHS Secretary Tommy G. Thompson today announced the creation of the HHS Office on Disability to oversee the coordination, development and implementation of programs and special initiatives within HHS that impact people with disabilities. Margaret J. Giannini, M.D., F.A.A.P., currently the principal deputy assistant secretary for aging at the Administration on Aging (AOA), has been appointed the director to the new HHS Office on Disability. The announcement builds on the work of President Bush's New Freedom Initiative, a comprehensive plan to tear down barriers facing people With disabilities, which prevent them from fully participating in community life. The new office will help centralize many of the recommended strategies outlined in a report to President Bush, which explored solutions to reducing barriers in all areas of society for people with disabilities. ~ A new web resource, Finding Our Way: Living with Dying in America - The Online Course (www.scu.edu/fow), is now available to all Americans. This real, web-based course is part of the Finding Our Way national public education initiative focused on bringing practical information on end-of-life issues to the American public. The course is completely self-paced and all course materials are included on the web. This online course grew out of a 15-part national newspaper series that appeared in more than 160 newspapers and reached millions last year. For questions regarding the course or the newspaper series, please contact Kevin Harris by email at kharris@sojourncommunications.com or by phone at 703-556-6800. To learn more about Finding Our Way: The Online Course and to register, go to: http://www.scu.edu/fow To learn more about the Finding Our Way newspaper series, visit: http://www.findingourway.net ~ Anyone caring for an aging relative, friend or neighbor is eligible for the award. Nominations are accepted annually from June 1 through October 15. Family caregivers can be nominated by other caregivers, health care professionals, family, friends, even themselves. An independent panel of judges chooses five winners based on the following criteria:
To nominate a family caregiver, simply write an essay describing how that caregiver meets the above criteria. The letter should include the names and addresses of both the nominator and the nominee. Letters can be sent via e-mail to Denise M. Brown at Denise or via regular mail to Tad Publishing Co., P.O. Box 224, Park Ridge, IL, 60068. Winners will be notified by phone during the first week of November. Profiles of the winners will be featured in the December issue of Caregiving newsletter. Letters nominating persons who did not receive an award will be featured in Caregiving throughout the following year.All nominees will be recognized for their efforts with a certificate. All nominees and their nominators also will receive a copy of the December issue of Caregiving newsletter. Additional prizes include a subscription to Caregiving newsletter, for as long as the winners need the newsletter, and discount coupons to other useful products, services and handbooks. To learn more about the Caregiver of the Year award call 773-334-5794. ~ Alzheimer's Disease being the most common form. Deciding when to limit or stop driving can be a confusing issue for individuals diagnosed with dementia and their caregivers. Earlier diagnosis and better medications may allow people to drive longer, further complicating the decision. Most information about dementia warns against driving, but does not describe when or how to stop. The Hartford Financial Services Group, Inc., the MIT Age Lab and Connecticut Community Care, Inc., have developed a guide to Alzheimer's Disease, Dementia and Driving as a tool to help individuals and caregivers determine when it is time to stop driving. elderlawanswers.com ~ The Rosalyn Carter Institute for Human Development: The Rosalyn Carter Institute for Human Development is working to define the components of a quality caregiving community. Using input provided by family caregivers, professionals and caregiving experts, the RCI will develop a Community Caregiving Capacity Index, a measurement instrument that communities can use to assess their ability to respond to caregivers' needs. Please submit your input: http://rci.gsw.edu/CommunitySurvey Alzheimers, Dementia & Driving This site is great. It has several forms that you can print out such as the Driver's with Dementia worksheet, and the Agreement about Driving form www.thehartford.com/alzheimers/ . ~ NEW YORK (AP) -- The federal government has approved tests of an experimental and potentially expensive AIDS drug that could prolong the lives of patients with drug-resistant strains of HIV. The Food and Drug Administration has granted a priority six-month review for the experimental drug Fuzeon, which would be used to treat people with drug-resistant strains of HIV, The Associated Press reports. The drug belongs to a new class of drugs called fusion inhibitors, which block HIV from entering cells. In clinical trials, people with drug- resistant HIV who added Fuzeon to their drug regimen were twice as likely to see their virus levels decrease to undetectable levels than people not taking the new drug. However, the drug is difficult to produce and so would likely be very expensive, and may cost as much as ,000 to ,000 per year per patient, the AP says.Dubbed Fuzeon by its developers, Roche Group and Trimeris Inc., the drug won a priority, six-month review from the Food and Drug Administration. The companies hope to put Fuzeon on the market by spring. more ~ WASHINGTON (HHS) -- HHS Secretary Tommy G. Thompson announced 11 grants totaling $25.6 million to support the training and education of health care professionals treating people living with HIV/AIDS. "These grants will help us further the training and education of those health care providers who treat people with HIV and AIDS," Secretary Thompson said. "In the fight against AIDS, all Americans with this disease deserve the most current prevention and treatment information from knowledgeable providers." more ~ An accurate and non-invasive colon cancer test may be on the horizon. The experimental test detects cancerous gene mutations and requires no dietary changes or physical discomfort -- just a stool sample to be analyzed in a lab. In studies, the PreGen- Plus test appeared about as accurate as a Pap smear, with a low rate of false positives. Although it finds roughly the same number of cancers as flexible sigmoidoscopy or older forms of stool tests, the PreGen-Plus test is not as sensitive as colonoscopy, still considered the best screening test for colorectal cancer, The Associated Press reports. Two clinical trials of PreGen-Plus are currently underway in the United States, with results of the first expected next year. ~ Lighthouse International Publishes New Guides Lighthouse Int'l has just published a 24-page handbook, "When Your Partner Becomes Visually Impaired...Helpful Insights and Tips for Coping." The booklet covers topics such as dealing with issues of dependence and independence and stress; organizing your home for accessibility and comfort; and improving communications. The booklet represents the experiences of caregivers in support groups. In addition, Lighthouse has published a discussion guide for support group leaders of programs for caregivers of visually impaired people; it provides an 8-session program to help caregivers address their feelings and issues. These publications are available from Lighthouse International, 1-800-829-0500 and www.lighthouse.org ~ Today's Caregiver announced the inaugural "Caregiver Friendly" awards program. - Today's Caregiver, the first national magazine for family and professional caregivers and caregiver.com announce a call-for-entries in the inaugural "Caregiver Friendly" awards. They are designed to celebrate products, services, books and media created with the needs of caregivers in mind. The magazine's Founder and Editor-In-Chief, Gary Barg, said, " I think the time has come to give recognition to those producers and manufacturers who share that goal". ~ Betty Thomas and Edward Thompson have co-edited a new book, "Men As Caregivers: Theory, Research, and Service Implications" (Springer, 2002). The book addresses the fundamental gaps in our knowledge and theories about the growing male population of caregivers (nearly 45% in the workplace; perhaps 30-35% in the general population). The authors identify the limitations that result from viewing male caregivers through the same lens of women's experiences. They pay special attention to male Alzheimer's caregivers, fathers of adult children with MR/DD, gay male caregivers with partners with AIDS, and sons caring for parents. ~ Paid leave legislation passed the California Assembly last night, by a vote of 46-31. A more expansive bill has already passed the California State Senate. WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP: If you're in California, please send the Governor a fax from this website. http://ga1.org/campaign/paidfamilyleave_governor. And wherever you are, Please forward this email and call to action to anyone and everyone in California you know. Lissa Bell, National Partnership for Women & Families, 1875 Connecticut Ave NW, #650, Washington, DC 20009 . 202 986-2600 (ph) 202 986-2539 (fax) www.nationalpartnership.org ~ If you enjoy Dorothy Womack's writing and poetry that we feature here at the site, you will enjoy her recently published book which you may purchase vby clicking this link..Dorothy's Book ~ When caring for a friend or family member, the opportunity to discover meaning in the caregiving experience is sometimes missed. The Hospice Institute of the Florida Suncoast's "Caregiving at Life's End" project, funded by the Administration on Aging, teaches trainers a framework for caregiver training that creates meaningful experiences for caregivers in their community. "Caregiving at Life's End: The National Training Program" participants will receive the skills and training materials needed to implement an effective community caregiver training. The free training sessions begin in March 2003. For more information about the training or to receive an application form email andreagoettel@thehospice.org or call 727-773-2561. British Medical Journal Publishing Needs Answers From Caregivers Caring For Loved Ones With Alzheimer's For Their New Site The British Medical Journal Publishing Group in London, England are in the early stages of developing a website that aims to translate evidence about the best treatments for common conditions into information that easily understood by patients. We are committed to improving communication between doctors and patients. To supplement this information we have dedicated part of the site to an area where people can see the personal experiences of others who have suffered from the same condition. One of our topics is Alzheimer's disease and we are therefore looking for people who are caregivers of Alzheimer's sufferers. If you would like to participate or would like to know more about this project please get in touch with me at healthexperiences@bmjgroup.com. Many thanks. Andrea Lane ~ Assisted living providers across the country will participate in community outreach events slated for September 8-14 to help educate consumers about their senior care choices. The Assisted Living Federation of America's (ALFA) theme, 'Your Choice:Your Future,' encourages consumers to take advantage of obtaining valuable information about assisted living and learning the importance of 'aging in place'. A Virtual Media Kit filled with helpful information, ideas and suggestions is available on the ALFA Web site at http://alfa.org. The kit is designed to help assisted living providers effectively educate the public during National Assisted Living Week ~ INFORMATIVE CAREGIVING ARTICLES & INSPIRATION Quotes I know of no single factor that more greatly affects our ability to learn and perform than the image we have of ourselves. Who we think we are influences everything we do, every thought we have, every feeling we allow. The most dramatic and most lasting changes that take place in people's abilities occur when they abandon a concept of self, which had previously limited their performance. Timothy Gallwey Without our realizing it, holding on to old feelings, habits and lifelong conditioning takes effort. The isolated ego defends itself by remaining constantly on the alert. Is this situation a threat? Is that person going to do what I want? The constant need to protect oneself psychologically may be too subtle to notice, but it occupies and enormous part of everyone's unconscious life.. Deepak Chopra Our individual personal reality – the way we think life is and the part we are to play in it – is self created. We put together our own personal reality. It is made up of our interpretation of our perceptions of the way things are and what has happened to us. We make some basic decisions about life when we are being born and we add to the script and embellish it during our childhood. We end up with a view of ourselves and the world that is usually highly inaccurate because our perceptions at an early age are not accurate. And, of course, the decisions we make about our perceptions are certainly not accurate. Out of that we put together our personal view of the world, and then we put together an environment that is a perfect reflection of our view of the world. Stewart Emery Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. "Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny" is the way the maxim goes. Habits are powerful factors in our lives. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patters, they constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness or our ineffectiveness. Stephen R., Covey The past explains how you got here. But where you go from here is your responsibility. The choice is yours. Maxwell Maltz, M.D. At the very instant you think (believing it), "I am happy," a chemical messenger translates your emotion, which has no solid existence whatever in the material world, into a bit of matter so perfectly attuned to your desire that literally every cell in your body learns of your happiness and joins in. The fact that you can instantly talk to 50 trillion cells in their own language is just as inexplicable as the moment when nature created the first photon out of empty space. Deepak Chopra It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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To the WORLD, YOU may be ONE person but to ONE person, YOU may be the WORLD! ~
~ How do I tell the one who brought me Mom, how I've tried to take care of you I am not leaving, by choice of my own Your time remaining, although fleeting at best But my spirit is free and connected to you A reversal of order, alas, this is true I am getting really sick and tired of hearing about all the baby boomers who are caregivers of elderly parents. I was born in 1969, my mother was born in 1925 and died this January at the age of 77. I am not considered a baby boomer not even a "tweener" yet I have cared for my elderly mother and father since I was a teenager. In fact at the age of 7 after finishing 1st grade I became aware of the fact my parents were "older" and I would be faced with taking care of them early in my life. Women my age do not understand what I have done (24/7 skilled level nursing type care for 17 months plus all the other time by myself) and few baby boomer women give me respect because they are not aware of what I have done - I am just another young selfish woman to them. I just do not fit in anywhere as a caregiver of elderly parents. Yes, we all experience similar feelings as caregivers, but there is something hurtful about not being recognized. It is strange that my 4th grade teacher and dear family friend lost her 90 year old mother 10 days before my mother died and I have another friend whose 80 year old mother died 6 weeks before mine. The later friend was married the year I was born! They have leaned on me for support, but I did not feel support in return. Of course, there are other 32 year olds whose mothers' die (my mother lost her mother at the age of 24), but there is something different when you grow up with older adults and the people you associate with are older adults and you are faced with all the elderly issues in addition to losing your parent when you should be doing the things young women do - like diapering your first baby not your mother. I personally do not believe caregivers are respected at all. We are pee-ons and even considered below nurse aides by home health and hospice agencies and many other areas of the medical field. We have no rights.Beverly ~ Merger Joke In a surprising blockbuster merger, drug company Pfizer Inc. has agreed to buy rival Pharmacia Corp. for about $60 billion in stock. Pfizer makes Viagra, and Pharmacia makes Rogaine hair products and the Nicorette smoking cessation line... Now you'll grow hair that stands straight up for 12 hours... Ways To Use An America Online Disc
"Old" Is When... "OLD" IS WHEN...Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love,"and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!" "OLD" IS WHEN...Your friends compliment You on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. "OLD" IS WHEN...A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS WHEN...Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN...You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. "OLD" IS WHEN...You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. "OLD" IS WHEN..."Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today. "OLD" IS WHEN..."Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" IS WHEN...An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee "How to Forgive" The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to eighty six and not have an enemy in the world."
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