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Last night, I was so confused.
My emotions were so raw.
My 'hurts' from all my yesterdays seemed to come flooding back.
With them they brought dark ominous storm clouds into my todays.
I had no idea how to begin to help the sun even peek back through...
Then tonight, as I sat with family,
Awaiting the start of my oldest son's graduation,
My little nephew arrived and reached his tiny arms out for me.
When I took him, he rested his angelic head upon my shoulder.
There may be no more peaceful feeling than this... in all the world...
Next, my oldest son turned and waved before taking his seat at his graduation.
He had no idea where we were in the mass of onlookers,
But he trusted that if he waved to us we would wave back.
His eyes searched...as we returned his wave...
At last, he had found us...
Satisfied, he smiled and sat down.
There may be no greater feeling of 'proud'...
When I returned home,
As family and friends gathered to celebrate in our kitchen,
I went into Mother's room, to give her the last dose of chemotherapy for this month.
I told her about the peaceful little angel...
I told her that our oldest had graduated...
She asked if we had enjoyed our trip....
I told her "Yes',
And made no correction... that their had been no 'trip'.
She asked again if we had enjoyed our trip.
And once again I told her "Yes".
A third time...she asked...this time with more emphasis...
"Did you enjoy your trip???"
This time I smiled,
With proud tears in my eyes,
She looked up at me with knowing eyes...
And I said, "Oh yes, Mother our trip was so very wonderful. We had a beautiful ride."
This time she was satisfied.
She smiled and told me how glad she was as she turned over and closed her eyes.

Isn't Life funny?
Yesterday the pain was so strong.
I had no idea how to make it go away.
Tonight....after the innocent touch of a tiny child...
Who is about to begin his first steps....
After the generous uninhibited acknowledgement of a young man...
About to begin his journey into a Brave New World...
Tonight after the tender questions of the 'teacher'...
Whose ride is almost over...
The wisdom rang true...
Tonight I realized....
The clouds have ALREADY parted...
The sun IS shining...
The confusion HAS lifted...
There is NO more pain....
Tonight I realized...
It has been a wonderful trip...
But I am still enjoying a beautiful ride.

c2001 Susan Roell
roells@msn.com
daughter and caregiver to "Miss Ruby" (79 yrs old)
diagnosis right temporal lobe brain tumor 2/2001

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© Copyright Gail R. Mitchell..
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