Choices ~ Healing ~ Love
February 1, 2004 Volume 5 Issue #5
Publisher & Editor: Gail R. Mitchell - grm4love

So much for global warming back here on the east coast. It's been an unusually cold winter across the nation. I quite like it as long as I am bundled up in layers. The air is so fresh and clean. However, there are many resident's without proper heating so it is important to insure that your loved one's have all the heat they needto maintain their health. Check out our new article by the Center For Disease Control and Prevention below.

For those of you who have no children and are caregivers, have you ever thought of who would caregive to you should you need it in the future? This is a huge problem that many caregivers are anticipating. With dimminishing services and health care provisions across the board, we are saddled with really taking a good deal of care into our own hands if we choose not to opt for an assisted living facility or nursing home.

Personally, I have had conversations with a few close friends who have and are caring for a loved one. We often think that we would move together to a small place and share a common cook, housekeeper and aid depending on our needs. I also think that there will be more communal living that will crop up as the need arises.. much like in the sixties but without the hippie connotation of sex, drugs and rock and roll.

The boomer generation in particular have no prior models to follow in terms of aging as we know it today. People are living longer and many will work right up until it's their time to return to the creator. If you have any thoughts about this please email : with your thoughts. I will post the results in the next newsletter.

We are very fortunate to continue receiving caregiving article contributions in all areas of caring. Check out our new additions to the database below.

Stay warm... take care..

May your journey be gentle and beautiful!
In Love & Light,


National Organization For Empowering Caregivers NOFEC
Sign Up For Your Free Membership
Take Our Caregiver Survey

At a recent program where I presented, it was called to my attention that many members who access the Empowering Caregivers site were unaware that it was a part of National Organization For Empowering Caregivers, a 501(c)(3) charitable non profit organization.

We invite you to join in our complimentary membership at: Join Us.

While you are there, please take a few minutes to fill in the Caregiver Survey. Your input is extremely valuable and we will respect your privacy. Your support in filling in the survey will help us and our funders to reveal areas where programming is most needed and where it will be most effectivec. Survey.

Empowering Caregivers Chats

Hosted chats are on Monday evenings and Thursday evenings. Dee is still ill and Prairie Gal has been consumed with caring for her dad and helping with her brother in law. If you would like to volunteer as a host, please fill in our application at: Chat Host. If you would like to volunteer moderating the boards, please fill out our application at: Moderator.

Mary C. Fridley
Questions & Answers
March 2004
John Felitto
Converting A Fearful Decision Into A Loving Choice

Visit John Felitto's New Website:

Alan Cohen
What Is Love?
Or click on this link:
Featured Guest Experts


Hypothermia: Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) by CDC
During the freezing temperatures who is at risk? How do you care for someone with hypothermia? How do you assure your home is heated safely? Article

It's a Pity Party...And You're Invited! By Mary Fridley
The author takes a serious but funny look at getting caught up in our pity parties and what a lifesaver reaching out to friends can be.: Article.

Wednesday At The "Fluff N Fold" by Elizabeth Cabalka
As a caregiver, self-care is critical for long term mental, physical, and spiritual personal health. A caregiver's Oasis is often cleverly disguised, yet it is always present.: Article

Help Your Heart Grow by Ridgely Goldsborough
The author encounters an experience with his father during and emergency that reveals how more compassion and understanding are needed. Article

Does Social Anxiety Hold You Back? By Dave Turo Shields
Caregivers may be swept into the world of caring for another, such that they are more vulnerable to social anxiety developing. Here's what to do.

Balance Problems: Causes and Prevention by National Institute of Senior Health
Most people think balance is a problem associated with aging, but there are other reasons that people can lose their balance. Article

How To Help Your Loved One When She Denies She Needs Your Help By Mary Fridley
Making difficult decisions to keep an elderly loved one safe. Taking on the parental role of caregiver for an elderly loved one.

How Relationships, Roles, And Responsibilities Change By Daniel Kuhn MSW
The author discusses how caregivers must adjust and change in relationship to the deterioration and stages a loved one goes through
. Article

Study Shows People With Alzheimer's Can Benefit From Exercise - Alzheimer’s Association
A new study demonstrates that a regular exercise program combined with caregiver education & training on supervising exercise improved the physical & emotional health of individuals with moderate to severe Alzheimer's disease.Article

If you are interested in submitting an article(s) please go to: Submit. You will find a form for submitting your article, bio/profile, copyright permissions, etc. Please review our guidelines for acceptance, submit and we will notify you upon acceptance.

In Memory



The Beauty In Caregiving

In an interview years ago, Gail Gibson Hunt, who heads the National Alliance for Caregiving in Washington, D.C., admonished that caregiving is not a pathology. It has taken me years of personal and professional experience to understand just how empowering that insight truly is.

So much of caregiving focuses on "the burden," and that is meritorious for building good programs and policy. But this solitary perspective leads caregivers to fight an illness, to compete with the aging process, to try to control outcomes. No wonder there is so much depression and stress: Caregivers are told to steel themselves against what is occurring naturally in their lives. They are encouraged, unwittingly, to feel there must be an ambitious way to succeed. Thus if they do not meet certain goals, cure diseases, or prevent deaths, they feel like failures.

But caregiving is not a linear process; it is a creative one. Resisting the flow of life creates the pathology. If we resist life as it presents itself to us, then its events become burdensome. But if we are willing to stay connected to the beauty in life, we will find balance and peace of mind. There is no right or perfect way to be a caregiver; but the best way is as someone who sees the whole picture and appreciates that life unfolds by itself.

There is beauty in caregiving because the life of the one giving care is as valuable as the life of the one receiving care. Yet few caregivers acknowledge their own worth because they don't feel "good enough." If we fail to honor our own lives, we limit our life force. If we don't receive the life meant for us, then the caring we deliver will be much smaller and more difficult than it need be.

We enter the arena of caregiving with distrust of our very natures because we are not socialized to trust our innate goodness. It is even harder to allow ourselves the possibility of happiness while caregiving because we are not conditioned to believe that the world is evolving as it should, especially in the midst of suffering. Because we do not believe in ourselves, we do not feel safe. We experience change as loss, and loss as suffering. Then our caregiving is filled with fear, stress, and unrelenting grief. These emotions shut us off from the gifts of spiritual power and grace that lie within and further the illusions about who we are at heart.

Connecting with the beauty in life is the most empowering process that caregivers can undertake to be liberated from these burdens. Nelson Mandela has said that our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. When we accept responsibility for our own spiritual power, we automatically have the courage to do what needs to be done, and to be joyful while doing it. We cease limiting ourselves to what others need and expect in order to "fit in.

"Empowerment means taking responsibility for our essential wholeness, for our mysterious connectedness to all living things. Empowerment means opening to all of life, trusting what we know, and transfiguring our fears so that they don't control us. Empowerment means coming home to our hearts.

The idea is simple, but the practice is not especially easy. We are conditioned to live in "the body of fear," suggests author Jack Kornfield in "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry." This fear is the small sense of self imposed by exterior forces -- fears of scarcity and lack of trust, for example -- that limit who we think we are. This smallness means living from a contracted heart that struggles to control or possess what is unpredictable and unknown, a feeling that the world is not safe. When we don't feel safe, we cling to people, emotions, events, time, desires, needs, pain, disappointments, and betrayals. We cannot move forward and live with vitality.

This condition is the opposite of self-love, which opens the heart in passion for life.

Self-love does not mean acquiescence or capitulation, but an allowing of life that liberates. Where does this quality come from? There is within each of us, says poet John O'Donohue, [cq] an enriching fountain of love. This is neither selfishness nor narcissism; those are negative obsessions with the need to be loved. Rather, he says, this is the wellspring of love within the heart.Self-love is self-empowerment. It comes from conscious self-caring - body, mind, and soul. This caring leads to true health, which is our soul's natural expression.

So how do we get there in the midst of caregiving challenges? Here is a thought along the journey: Consider the maxim to "love thy neighbor as thyself." This does not mean to love thy neighbor more than thyself or instead of thyself, but as much as thyself. Our own self is primary. If we don't continually nourish our own lives and gifts, if we live them for others (children, spouses, parents), then we cannot revitalize ourselves while caring for someone else. The renewal that comes from the ability to care deeply without giving ourselves away starts with giving oneself the same mercy and compassion that we look for outside ourselves.

The more we love life, the larger it is and the more fully we live. But we cannot love life without first loving ourselves. We cannot give to others the love we do not give to ourselves. When we value our own lives, we connect with the rest of life automatically and are supported abundantly by it. Then we serve in grateful awareness of the transitory but sacred nature of all life.

Caregiving can be a doorway into larger life; it is not always what it appears. As one caregiver told me, "It's such a big process. It's a walk into what you thought was a dark and unfamiliar land, but you find out it's your living room. It's in between picking up your kid from school and going to work the next morning. You will have frustrating times but if you're not established in the poignancy of being here, then you really miss the boat. This death story for my mid-forties is probably the greatest gift I could have gotten: to love and bless my life."

Beth Witrogen Mcleod
All rights reserved

Beth Witrogen McLeod is an author, journalist, speaker and consultant on caregiving, end-of-life issues and renewal at midlife, especially for women. Beth is one of our featured experts at the Empowering Caregivers with one of the largest collections of her articles. She is a double Pulitzer Prize nominee, and has won many national and regional awards for her work. She has written for Good Housekeeping, SELF, Family Circle, and The Wall Street Journal, among others. Her latest book is Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss, and Renewal www.Witrogen.Com



Foundation For Grandparenting's Founder:
Dr.Arthur Kornhaber Appearing On:
NBC Today Show Febr 2nd & Feb 3rd

Dr Kornhaber will be on the NBC Today show on Monday February 2, and Tuesday, February 3. He will be speaking about the subject close to our heart, promoting healthy and loving parent-grandparent relations. Dr. Kornhaber has written a first-ever new book for parents to help them understand the benefits of three-generational living and involving grandparents in their lives - “The Grandparent Solution (Jossey-Bass Publishers)s. Please see for details..

Lifespan Respite Task Force Meeting
Thursday, February 19, 2004, 11:00 AM -12:30 PM

The next meeting of the Lifespan Respite Task Force will be held on Thursday, February 19, 11:00 am in Conference room 2009, 2nd floor of American Psychological Association, 750 First St., NE, Washington, DC (next to Union Station). If you need directions, please contact Deborah A. Cotter, APA, Ph: (202) 336-5668.

The purpose of the meeting will be to provide an update on the status of the Lifespan Respite Care bill and to follow-up on strategies proposed at the last meeting. For notes on the last meeting and a copy of the latest legislative alert, visit the Lifespan Respite TF web page at: ArchRespite or the NRC page.

Family Caregiving And Public Policy: Principles for Change

The National Center on Caregiving at Family Caregiver Alliance in collaboration with the National Alliance for Caregiving, the National Respite Coalition, the Families and Healthcare Project of the United Hospital Fund, Americans for Better Care of the Dying, and the National Family Caregivers Association have worked together to create a statement of principles on caregiving designed to serve as a foundation document for caregiving policy initiatives..View document.

National Town Hall Meeting on Family Caregiving
February 24 from 10:00 a.m.- 12:00 p.m

Don't forget the National Town Hall Meeting on Family Caregiving being organized by the National Family Caregivers Association and others. The event will be held on Capitol Hill on February 24 from 10:00 a.m.- 12:00 p.m. (Continental breakfast will be available at 9:30 a.m.) in Russell Senate Caucus Room. For early registration, RSVP to Eliza Brinkmeyer at 301-652-1558 or email

Not Aging But Sage-ing®
Gary Carlson, PhD - Conscious Aging Network of New Mexico
A Continuing Education Class at UNM- Albuquerque, NM
7 Wednesdays, February 25 to April 7, 9:30 am to 11:30 am

The course will be based on the work of Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, who has developed a model of aging in a conscious way. We will look at aging not as a time of decline, but rather as a time of exciting personal growth and development. At age 60, most of us will have another 20 or 30 years to live. We will discuss how to make those years satisfying and productive. The course will be highly interactive, with discussions and exercises to add to the student’s understanding. This course will be particularly suitable to those in the second half of life. Cost: $75, plus $20 for course text and supplies. Class Location: Continuing Education South Building. For more information, call: Gary Carlson, 505-897-1850. To register, call: Continuing Education, 505-277-0077

Tele-Group For Caregiving- The Next Step:
Powerful Caregiving With Increased Energy

Members will be supported in taking specific steps to set goals that enable more profound and satisfying caregiving. For caregivers who have not been able to attend support group meetings, This telephone group is convenient, private and not limited by geographical constraints. The focus is to strengthen the impact of your caregiving, while easing your burden. Open discussion, visualization, information/technique sharing with a focus on caregiver's goals, both short and long term, are emphasized. The tele-support meets twice monthly, over the phone, beginning Monday, January 19th, 2004 (6 pm ET, 5 pm CT, 3 pm PT)

Sylvia Nissenboim, LCSW has over 20 years experience working with individuals and families who are caring for older or disabled loved ones. She has led support groups, has worked clinically with families facing caregiving for the first time and others who have been caregiving for decades. She directs Adult Day Programs for elderly and disabled adults, has authored two books a number of articles on caring for those with dementia and related topics. For more information: email - put Caregiver Tele-group in the subject line, or call 314-989-9056.

Communicating Effectively With Healthcare Professionals
Workshop Leaders Training Conference: Dallas, TX
February 27 – 28th

Communicating Effectively with Healthcare Professionals empowers family caregivers to advocate more persuasively on behalf of their loved ones with the healthcare professionals providing treatment. It helps family caregivers function as true members of the healthcare team, assuring better continuity of care and better access to the resources needed by the care recipient.

Apply online at CEU credits for nurses and social workers are available! For more information contact John Paul Marosy at 508.854.0341 or

Autism One 2004 Conference
May 27th-30th 2004
Chicago, Il

This conference is for parents and professionals for the care, treatment, and recovery of children with autism. The conference organizers are themselves parents of children with autism. Parents are, and must remain, the driving force of the autism community. The issues are too sacred and the stakes too high to delegate to outside interests. Autism One features over 100 speakers: many of the world's leading researchers, educators, practitioners, agencies, and parents. Learn about the latest treatments, your rights when dealing with school districts, the best ways to handle insurance companies, how to petition government agencies, along with a host of other pressing issues. In addition, leading parent-advocates and autism organizations will be on hand to present and inform For more information: Contact:Edmund Arranga at Ph:714.680.0792 E-mail or visit their site at:

Caregiver Support Group Meeting In Dallas, Tx

A caregiver support group is meeting 2x a month where people can come (drop in or attend regularly) and hopefully find some answers to questions and lessen feelings of sadness and isolation that people have when a loved one is given and/or cares for a loved one with a "severe" diagnosis. We seek to educate the public to issues about caregiving and the toll that it takes on people on businesses and on families...

Contact the Executive Director, Rev. Judie Arkow, D. Min, phone: 972- 523-8080. It meets on the 1st & 3rd Thursday monthly, from 6:00-7:30PM at: 17750 Preston Rd. #216, Dallas, Tx. 75252 The Cost is $15.00 Please RSVP by phone or email

Family Caregiver Conference – New York City
March 4th & 5th

The Families and Health Care Project of the United Hospital Fund is sponsoring a conference called “Family Caregiving in a Changing World, “ Thursday-Friday, March 4-5, at the CUNY Graduate Center in New York City. You can check our website at or contact Hollis Holmes at Ph: 212-494-0761.Brochure

American Red Cross Caregiving Program

The American Red Cross Family Caregiving program was released this onth as a series of nine modules providing resources and support to the family caregivers of the elderly and sick. The modules included in the program are:

  • Assisting with Personal Care
  • Caring for the Caregiver
  • Positioning and Helping Your Loved One Move
  • General Caregiving Skills
  • Home Safety
  • Healthy Eating
  • Caring for Loved One with HIV/AIDS
  • Caring for Loved One with Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia
  • Legal and Financial Issues

For more information on the American Red Cross Family Caregiving Program, contact your local Red Cross chapter or visit their site at: Red Cross. You will have to locate your local Red Cross to find out about their nominal fees for the program.

California Handbook Legal Rights For Individuals With Disabilities

The California Attorney General's released a handbook summarizing the state and federal laws designed to protect the rights of persons with disabilities. The guide is focused on helping persons with disabilities and their families. It discusses different discrimination laws in different areas of the system. They also include information on programs, services, benefits and health care. For more information please go to: handbook.

Bipolar Disorder, Out Of The Shadows

The National Mental Health Association began their campaign to raise awareness onthe different types of depression. Among the most misunderstood is bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression. Bipolar disorder can be tricky to identify. To hear their special audio report, please click here.

National Center on Caregiving at Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA)
Caregiving and Retirement Planning:
What Happens to Family Caregivers Who Leave the Work

The National Center on Caregiving at Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA) is pleased to release a new policy brief on critical family caregiving issues, funded by the Archstone Foundation. Caregiving and Retirement Planning: What Happens to Family Caregivers Who Leave the Work Force, is co-authored by Laurie Young, PhD, executive director, Older Women's League, and Sandra Newman, MPH, policy specialist, FCA's National Center on Caregiving. The policy brief highlights how retirement income can be affected by caregiving activities, with particular attention paid to the impact on women caregivers. Social Security, savings, pensions and unpaid leave are discussed. Policy recommendations for future action are included.

Hard copies are available from FCA for $25 each. Call FCA at 415-434-3388 for ordering information. Copies can also be downloaded from the FCA website at Copy

~ To Hold BiWeekly Chats With Experts
Topic: Treatment of Alzheimer’s
Date: January 21, 2003
Time: 7:00pm (ET)

The Alzheimer’s Information Site ( will be holding bi-weekly Online Expert Chats. The next event will be held January 21, 2003 at 7pm (ET). Our expert will be Dr. John Zeisel. John Zeisel, Ph.D., is a pioneer in non-pharmacologic treatment of Alzheimer's, is President of Hearthstone Alzheimer Care, and manages Assisted Living Alzheimer's treatment residences in New York and New England. For more information on Dr. Zeisel and the topic for this event please visit Alz Chats is a tool of the Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Foundation to educate people about this devastating disease. The mission of the website is to educate, engage an online community with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week access to information and support via online chats, message boards and the most comprehensive resource databases available. For questions or comments please email or call 1-800-ALZ-INFO

Promising Practices In Caregiver Support Among The States
The Centers For Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS)

Promising practices in caregiver support among the states

The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has posted a series ofreports on promising practices in caregiver support. Available on the CMS website: "Vouchers Caregivers Use to Pay for Services - Georgia";"Supporting Family Caregivers withPayment for Services - North Dakota";"Resource Counseling and Financial Assistance for Informal Caregivers - Pennsylvania"; and "State-Sponsored Endowed Trust Fund - Washington." Download:

Medicare Legislation Includes New Hospice Provisions

The Medicare reform bill (H.R. 1) signed by President Bush on 12/8 will continue to entitle all Medicare beneficiaries access to hospice care regardless of which Medicare program they select. The Medicare hospice benefit will continue to provide comprehensive coverage to Medicare beneficiaries who are terminally ill. The recently passed Medicare reform bill expands upon the existing hospice benefit to allow Medicare-certifiedhospices to contract with other Medicare-certified hospices for core services when unanticipated staffing shortages arise or when there is an unusually high demand for care. This revision in Medicare law also enables continuous coverage for traveling patients. The reform legislation allots coverage for a one-time hospice consultation for terminally ill beneficiaries. The hospice consultation service includes evaluation of the beneficiary’s pain and symptom management needs, counseling regarding end-of-life issues and options, and advising the individual regarding advance care planning. The full text of the newly enacted Medicare legislation can be found on the U.S. Congress’ Thomas Web site at:

American Diabetes Association Launches New

The American Diabetes Association launched the new "" Web site. Developed to better serve the ever-increasing online audience, the enhanced Web site is packed with fresh content and more resources than ever before. In addition, new navigation will make clicking to your favorite areas simpler than ever. To address the distinctive demands of each and every viewer, the new site features "mini-sites," where visitors can find information and distinctive navigation bars tailored to fit the needs of health professionals, parents, children, our Spanish-speaking audience, and those newly diagnosed with diabetes. The new will be better than ever. View at: Diabetes.Org

Att: Family Caregivers Of Loved Ones With TBI

I am a graduate student in rehabilitation psychology at University of Wisconsin Madison. I have had the opportunity to work with individuals with TBI and their families, and pursued more school so I could commit more time and energy to somehow improving the services and funding in this area. I am pursuing what I feel to be much needed research in the area of how families cope/care for a family member/loved one who has experienced a traumatic brain injury. I believe this is an area that still continues to be ignored by researchers and health care professionals and demands more attention.

I am hoping there may be caregivers of persons with TBI out there who are interested in participating in my research. It is vitally important to raise the awareness and service provisions for families and the individual to which they are caring.

To participate, you need to be currently involved in the care for a family member / loved one with a TBI who sustained the injury at or after age 18, and the injury needs to have ocurred no less than one year ago. If you choose to participate, it involves completing a survey (which can be done in your home at your leisure) that takes about 30-45 minutes. You also receive $25 for your time right away.

Best regards,
Julie Anne Chronister
Email : Julie

Locks of Love Provides Free:
To Disadvantaged Children Suffering From Long Term Hair Loss

Locks of Love is a nonprofit group that provides free custom-fitted hair prostheses to financially disadvantaged childrensuffering from long term or permanent hair loss. The organization serves children under 18 suffering ill effects from Alopecia, burns, extended chemotherapy, radiation to the brainstem, injury, ectodermaldysplasia, trichotillomania, or any other medical cause of hair loss.

A great resource for children, Locks of Love does not currently have a waiting list and would love to help more children reclaim their self-esteem and feel better about their appearance.

The vacuum-fitted hair prosthesis provided to children are generally priced at $3,500 to $6,000 in the retail market but free to kids in need. Applicants just need to send in a photo, diagnosis, two letters of recommendation, and documentation of financial income; they are generally notified two to three days later.

The organization has yet to turn down an applicant who is under 18, financially disadvantaged, and suffering from long-term hair loss. Once in the program, children can receive a new hairpiece every two years. If you know of a child who might be able to benefit from Locks of Love, call toll-free 888/896-1588, or visit you....

Rosalynn Carter Institute Caring & Competent Caregiver Award

In 2004, the Rosalynn Carter Institute is inaugurating a new award for professional caregivers. The purpose of the Rosalynn Carter Institute Caring & Competent Caregiver Award is to recognize exemplary professional caregivers across the nation who, through service to others, demonstrate uncommon levels of competence and care to those in need and their family caregivers. Award recipients will receive a commemorative bronze medallion from former First Lady Rosalynn Carter during the Gala Celebration of Caregivers at Symphony Hall in Atlanta, Georgia, on June 15, 2004.

Nominations for the 2004 awards may be made for persons who serve in the following categories:

  • Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN)
  • Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA)
  • Nurse’s Aide/Patient Care Technician
  • Home Health Aide

To nominate someone for the award, complete the Nomination Form and submit, along with appropriate supporting documentation, to the Rosalynn Carter Institute no later than February 13, 2004. For more information go to: Phone: 229-928-1234 * Fax: 229-931-2663 * Washington Office: 750 First Street, NE, Washington, DC 20002

Caring For The Caregiver:
AMA Resource Shows How Doctors Can Take Active Role

Physicians should focus attention on the well-being of this hidden, at-risk population, as well as the patient they are treating. Caregiver self assessment tool at: AMA

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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Mahatma Gandhi.

There are only four kinds of people in the world:
Those who have been caregivers
Those who currently are caregivers
Those who will be caregivers
Those who will need caregivers"

Former First Lady Rosalyn Carter
Self Mastery

Within each one of us there is a master of the universe. Not the universe out there but the inner universe of our thoughts and feelings, attitudes and actions. It is a universe we are not encouraged to explore, and when we do, we are often pooh pood by those who prefer to avoid looking within themselves. And yet the metaphors contained within all our fairy stories, mythologies and legends are based on awakening, conquering and mastering our inner world. But why you may ask? Simply because, if we don't, we will never know what it is to be fully conscious, to fully live... to live a fulfilled life. We will never know the beauty of our inner landscape.

We will never harness the energy and power that is available to us - the power of our inner peace, the power of our creative minds, the power of the virtue which we each contain. Most people realise too late what awaits within and how valuable it is. For too long we allow ourselves to be distracted and bewitched by all that is happening outside. To be the master of your inner world is to be the master of your own destiny. Are you going to be the master or a slave?

Marlene Rodriguez
** Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life**
"As A Man Thinketh."

It’s the book that’s changed the life of millions. Download a FREE eBook of James Allen’s "As A Man Thinketh." "I have personally read As a Man Thinketh over 25 times." - Mark Victor Hansen, co-author, the Chicken Soup books. To Download a FREE eBook of James Allen’s "As A Man Thinketh." Visit

David Copperfield Illusion Online For Your Amusement


Inspirational Flash: View It Online


Behind All Fear Is Freedom

Behind all fear is freedom -
there is no other way -
to overcome obstacles in your life -
face them every day.

There is no use avoiding
the reality inside.
By running away one only finds out
there is no place to hide.

There is no shame in failing -
when trying so hard to do.
Confidence comes to the heart that succeeds
in make its dreams come true.

So face you fears with courage -
conquer them one by one.
It is the price the soul must pay
to bask in freedom's sun.

Tom Krause
Copyright 2004
" Calendar Girls" - The Movie

I had an opportunity to see the movie " Calendar Girls" which is based on a true story, It tells of 11 middle-aged women from a small village in Yorkshire, England who are all members of the Local Women's Institute . Every year they create a somewhat boring calendar on scenes and activities around the local area. However, after one of the women's husbands became ill with leukemia. and passed away the women decide to do an artistically nude calendar in hopes of selling a few hundred copies locally to raise funds to purchase a new sofa for the family's waiting room at the hospital so that they could spend their hours at the hospital waiting with a bit more comfort. Not anticipating the impact both of the calendar and the cause behind it, it has become a huge International success; raising more then they dared to imagine for leukemia research. The movie is heartwarming and touching. Caregivers alike can appreciate the support and bonding of these women. Having the courage to reach out to your friends and to do something out of the norm as they did even with the repercussions was a remarkably empowering experience for them all in the final analysis.


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Hi! Just found your site tonight or I should say this morning, about 2am. Was looking for something like this out of desperation. Mom lives with my hubby and me. (We have been married 2 1/2 years and she has lived with us for 2 years). Although she can take care of most of her needs, she basically just needs me to drive her to appts., wash her clothes, fix her hair, and make sure there is nourishing food in the 'fridge. That part isn't too hard, but for months she has been badmouthing hubby and me to her friends, my kids, etc. and today it all blew up, when instead of keeping it to herself, she verbally attacked my husband. Now he has left and is staying in a motel tonight and doesn't want to come home as long as she is here. I feel put in the middle which he sympathizes with but that's about it. I think she may have some dementia, but not sure. She says/does things and then later says she didn't say it or do it. She even told my son (18) that she thought my husband was poisoning us. This was several months ago. Her elderly friends believe everything she says. She is never grateful that we provide for her and offered her a place to stay when the only other option would have been assisted living. We have a very quiet, peaceful household until she gets 'nit-picky' about everything. I know it seems I'm complaining, and I guess I am venting a bit. I realize others have much worse situations, but this is affecting all our lives and just knowing that others are dealing with similar situations is helpful. I've been reading some on the boards and feel much better already. AngelGirl.


My 83 year old father had a brain stem stroke on December 31. Although he doing very well in rehab, my 80 year old mother is having trouble seeing happiness in the future, is worrying about being a caregiver, and all the other things there are for a spouse of 60 years to think about. I would love for her to be able to correspond via email with a caregiver in a similar situation...not necessary an elderly person, but someone who has changed her life in order to care for a spouse. Mom is fairly adapt at emailing, looks forward to checking for them every morning and always replies.

Also, although she will be her primary caregiver, both my sister and I are a large part of his care and we have the resources to hire whatever help we need.

This is mainly about sharing the experience with a peer, knowing she isn't alone in what she's going through, and dealing with her guilt in wishing she didn't have to do this..Windy



"Senior Moments"

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant and as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat."

Subject: Period

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.

"It's a period," he replied. I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a period?"

Darned if I know," he said, "but this morning my sister was missing one. Mommy fainted, daddy had a heart attack and the boy next door joined the army.

"Phone Call"

A woman, calling a local hospital, said, "Hello, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I'd like to find out if the patient is getting better, or doing as expected, or is getting worse."

The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

She said, "Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."

"I will connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help you?"

"I would like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302"

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back as normal, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."

The woman said, "Thank heaven! That's wonderful! Oh! That’s fantastic that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Not exactly, I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me nothing!"


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