The week seems to have been quite long for many of us. I am hoping that many of you that have written to me are feeling better. Some one said it was an astrological aspect that hit us all. Whatever the reasons might be, it is important to be aware of the fact that we have choices.

Basically it is important to take responsibility and know that the quality of our lives is determined by our attitudes. We should not react to outside influences. We are in control, if we chose to be from within ourselves. The old beliefs or attitudes are like addictions. The only way we can maintain control from within so that our lives are fuller, richer, happy and more peaceful is to stay aligned. This is probably one of the biggest life lessons that we all are learning.

While there may be days where we feel totally focused and aligned; where there are those incredibly wonderful days where everything seems to flow easily and effortlessly to us; we must be aware that life isn’t always fair. There will be hundreds of times when we lose it and move back into lack, negative thinking, our old beliefs etc.

If we are doing our real inner work, it can seem as if two opposing forces were pulling at us. It could feel like the opposing sides of a magnet each pulling directly at us. It is very easy to get pulled back and forth amid the confusion. However, some where deep inside us we may hear that inner voice calling and directing us. Many a time, we won’t be aware of the calling.

When you find yourself feeling stuck or victimized, if you remember that you always have choices, sooner or later you will quiet yourself long enough to go within and pray or ask for guidance and direction to get you to the next level or process that you are to experience.

I for one, found myself consciously trying to control many circumstances that were just not in my control this week. It was devastating me. I thought I would surely lose it. I shared with a dear friend that I consciously knew I was not centered or balanced, but that my emotions and this control seemed to be taking over me. I had to really get in touch with the truth which was that if I was really going to be surrendering to the higher power, that there would be no need to control, no matter what I thought.

Once I was able to get in touch with it, I quickly stilled myself and went within. I found that many of the things I was trying to change, perhaps really didn’t need change at this point. Newer avenues were opening up to me and many of the changes that I was pushing to control, change or make happen, were changes that would have to be redone in a very short period of time.

As a result, I have come to surrender the confusion with the creation of the site and let the higher power reveal it all to me. I am writing this out of a lot of love as there are many around us who try to control and manipulate us. It is up to us not to be thrown by their actions but to just observe them and to know that we always have choices. If getting caught up in their actions causes us to not feel loving, peaceful or joyful, then it is not serving us. This is their problem. It isn’t ours.

I know that many of you do the weekly journal exercises and there are many of you who have indicated that either you are not interested or can’t seem to commit to just doing them. All of this is appropriate. There is no right or wrong way to do them. There is no judgment. I write them because the themes and issues are extremely timely for us as caregivers. They are a tool that is available for your implementation in your life. For those of you who have shared that you would like to but haven’t been able to, know that this commitment is something special for you to do for yourself.

When you are not feeling optimum and loving in terms of who you are it may take a little more encouragement or determination to actually sit down and create this time for yourself. As in my case above, if you can talk to a friend who can support you from a higher consciousness, you will gain the strength and encouragement to do what you need to do. Be gentle and nurturing to yourselves.

Copyrighted Gail R. Mitchell 9/16/99


  • Ms. Mitchell began her full-time caregiving experience in the early eighties when her husband was diagnosed with cancer. Later on she became the primary caregiver for her father, along with her mother who had become critically ill from burnout prior to her dad’s passing. In recent years, she cared for several friends with AIDS while continuing to care for her mother and actively providing support, information, referrals and resources for caregivers.

    Gail's leadership on the Internet and her success with Empowering Caregivers led her to found National Organization For Empowering Caregivers (NOFEC) INC in 2001.

    Prior to founding NOFEC, she created the iVillageHealth Chat: Empowering Caregivers, which she hosted for over 5 years. Within a month of hosting she created Empowering Caregivers: in 1999 as a resource for caregivers around the globe. Over three million visitors have frequented the website.

    She has presented at national and international care-related conferences and programs and has been a keynote speaker for many programs as well.

    Ms Mitchell has assisted thousands of caregivers online and offline in ways to empower themselves in their roles in caring for loved ones.

    For a list of clients and/or her resume, please contact

    Gail's articles have been published in many venues nationally and in Canada. Presently, she is a member of American Society on Aging and National Quality Caregivers Coalition.

    Gail has discovered that there is life after caregiving: She has become a successful ceramic artist and installation artist. She created Crystal Illumination Art to bring the transformative quality of illumination, light and color to the human experience and celebrate its ability to inspire, heal and nourish our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being.