For those of you who are caregivers to the frail elderly, bedbound or even “wanderers”, I may have a solution for you. When Mom first got in bed, I bought her a coach whistle to wear around her neck. In this manner, she could blow the whistle if she needed help or wanted to talk, and I could hear her up to 700 feet away!! This gave me a bit of mobility too, to step outside for a quick break or to wash a load of clothes.

Also, I purchased a small bell for her to ring if she had a “request”, such as food, water, pills, etc. This way, I could separate the sounds and know what I was responding to. For a “RED ALERT”, when she was really ill, I got her a bicycle horn to honk (as she would have no way of yelling or speaking).

To this day when I hear a bicycle horn in the stores, I think Mom is calling for me!! Also we installed baby monitors, one on the side of her bed rails and the other portable unit I kept by my bedside when I “slept” and on my person during the daytime hours. This way, Mom was never out of earshot and I could get to her almost immediately. In a roundabout way, it also gave me some “free time” when she was sleeping or busy with TV that I could rest or do household chores of my own, since we all lived in the same house.

I was reflecting on all these noise makers today and suddenly realized, hey, there just may be SOMEONE OUT THERE IN CYBERSPACE who desperately needs this information or who thinks they are going crazy because they cannot run fast enough between the crises of their deeply loved, albeit confused, paralyzed or randomly oriented patient!! If YOU are the one who needs this, then this is your lucky day!! Help is on the way!! Let your EARS be where your EYES cannot and then you can take a little break from the overwhelming “seige of responsibility” which a chronic caregiver is subjected to – At any rate, I sincerely hope the “Bells and Whistles” theory works for you. It saved my sanity, literally!!

 

©2000 Dorothy Womack

 

These are relevant to me, even though they were written at various times throughout the past few years – To me, they summarize the times of the ‘Bells & Whistles’ in my life……Dorothy

 

EVERY TIME SHE CRIES

Every time she cries, it breaks my heart in two
I sit beside her, knowing there is nothing I can do
To ease her pain and suffering – or bring her back to me
I long to have her go to God – to finally be free –
But I cannot, and so I watch, as days pass slowly by
I want my mother’s spirit to escape her frame and fly
To where all those who’ve gone before are waiting yet to see
When my mother leaves my loving arms – Their arms, will open, be
Yet time is passing frightfully too slow – and yet too fast
I cannot seem to hold onto the memories to last
My lifetime – when my mother goes – And none is left, but I…
Even though I want her free – I’ll miss her, so I cry
Beyond my spiritual beliefs is still a human child —
Please God, help me to understand this suffering – and while
I wait to see Your Faithful Hand at work – Help me to not ask why
But accept Your Will in EVERYTHING —
Even those times when she cries……

© 1999 Dorothy Womack
** Dedicated to Mom and also Momma

PICTURE ME

Picture me smiling – Not sad and forlorn

For I’ve seen the morning – The darkness is gone

I walk among angels – I have many friends

I dwell in a world where life never ends?

Picture me singing – A song of pure joy

With children around me – Each girl and each boy

No longer are shackled, in hurt and in pain

All are rejoicing – All know great gain?

Picture me dancing, twirling and free

Living the way God meant me to be —

Peaceful – Perfect – Contented – Serene

Reality centered – This isn’t a dream!!

Sound mind – Strong limbs – Integrity

Pure heart – Confidence – True Dignity

Reminded no more of earth’s misery

When memories haunt you —-

Please?.Picture me?.

© 1999 Dorothy Womack

DESTINY

My daughter – Please forgive me, for what all this cost you
You know I would never purposely inflict pain or grief on you
I couldn’t help what happened to either one of us
All I can really tell you – Is, God Alone, to trust
I never had suspected that this would come my way
Didn’t even see it coming, as Iived from day to day —
But come it did, and flattened everything that was in sight
Like a wrecking ball, destroying all the good – just like a blight
I know you watched true horrors, due to what occurred to me
But God hid me in spirit, somewhere in Eternity —
So that I escaped the terrors that you alone would bear
I’m sorry that this hurt you – took you way beyond repair –
But yet, inside, I know you – The strength that lies within
Your beliefs are solid – They’re rooted deep in HIM –
I see inside, your sadness – You’re lonely, to this day
But life is still within you – YOU haven’t gone away!!
You still have things decided before you yet were born
To accomplish for the Saviour – and crosses to be borne –
So do not resist His calling – But, His Servant, always be
Remember you’re not doing just for HIM, or you – but ME
You are MY voice cast outward – as well as GOD’s, you see
Speak forth sans hesitation – and OUR mouthpiece, be
And though you’re prone to question – and deep depression too
Fight hard to stay above it – For God’s looking after you
All that you witnessed happen to me was long ago
I ask you now – Step forward – You have places yet to go
My life on earth was ending just as yours was at its start
Know always that I’m with you – I live within your heart
Step out in faith, believing, that no harm will come to you
For Christ Himself is leading – His Promises are true
For if I had not left you the way, I did – Today
You would not be the person God ordained in every way
Please realize so much depends on who you’ve yet to be
Reach out and tell the others – That those who hear, go free
This never was a vain thing for you – But life itself
You cannot cease to function – Sit idly on a shelf
Awake, get up, start moving – As God would have you go
Because you know CHRIST loves you…..
And I, too, love you so………..

©1999 Dorothy Womack

Author