There is much you can do to prepare yourself for the great adventure of death. But it is well to remember that you are alive, and as such, you are meant to live. Avoid the tendency to become preoccupied or obsessed with death. The natural process of life provides time for all things. Keep death in perspective with other major life events.

One of the most important things to know is that you can prepare now for death and you can even enjoy the preparation process. Preparing for death can enrich your living experiences. Once you can look death in the eye and feel nothing but pleasant, yet mild, anticipation, then life becomes much more enjoyable.

This epitaph taken from a headstone in Ashby, Massachusetts, describes the basic truth.

Remember, friends, as you pass by,

As you are now, so once was I.

As I am now, so you must be.

Prepare yourself to follow me.

You are well-advised to prepare yourself for death. But whether you are ready or not, when your self-determined hour arrives you will pass to the next dimension. Your hour is determined by you and your council — not the little you that operates in the conscious mind, but the greater “You” that operates in harmony with Divine Source. This higher self, as it is often referred to, maintains the direct connection to the Divine Source.

A little preparation can make the death experience more pleasant and thus more peaceful for you as well as those you leave behind. Here are some suggestions for this preparation.

TALKING ABOUT DEATH

Allow yourself to talk about death as a part of life. I assure you, you do not bring death closer to you by talking about it, and you may make yourself more comfortable with the concept. By avoiding the topic you shroud it in mystery and shame. It becomes one of those topics that we don’t talk about in polite society.

Upon death you will create your own death experience based on what you believe. Therefore, the clearer you are about what you want and expect to happen, the better off you will be. Read and examine the near-death experiences of others. Discuss with friends what you read. Do these books and articles describe a hell? Do you want one? Play with the concepts and words involved with death. This allows you and others to adjust to a death reality. Talking about your thoughts and concepts helps you to clarify your own views. It forces you to synthesize and articulate your reality. It is at this point that you are able to revise or adjust your own faulty thinking. Even if you do not, at first, have an accurate reality of death, the process of open forum allows you to open to a variety of possibilities.

While Mom was in the hospital, she and I had an opportunity to discuss death. Although she was very confused and scared of death, she listened to my views and shared her own. She talked about what she wanted to happen (and how) if she died. At this point no one believed that she would be dead in less than two months. The conversation was one I shall always remember and treasure.

A colleague at the university, Don, and I discussed the recent death of a co-worker. We talked about death — his beliefs and mine. It was to be our last conversation, for he died just a few days later.

These conversations help to acclimate people to the transition process. Neither Don or Mom knew consciously that they were soon to die. Yet both felt the need to discuss death. It is important to be comfortable enough with the topic to discuss it when the conversation arises. Often there is an inner knowing and a need to discuss death as the hour approaches, much like the impending birth of a child is discussed.

People have taken the topic of death, and even the words associated with it, and made them naughty — something we don’t speak aloud in public. Children are shushed or quickly diverted if they bring up the topic. Our society is “death-a-phobic” and it’s time this is changed.

By becoming comfortable with the words and concepts, when the magic moment arrives and you discover that you are dead, you won’t be so shocked. Many people have a difficult time accepting their own death simply because of the shock value of the word. Ignoring and suppressing the idea of death throughout your life actually empowers the word. So take the power away from the words and concept of death by verbalizing and getting comfortable with them. Make the words “death” and “dead” as familiar as the word “birth” and “life”.

Birth and death are both times of transition. They imply a change from one dimensional form to another. You don’t see people going to pieces because someone gave birth like you do when people (especially themselves) die. Yet birth is much more traumatic and generally unpleasant to the one experiencing it. Death is a much easier transition.

A WORKING REALITY OF DEATH

Take a minute to imagine the following scene.

You find yourself inside a large cube or box. It can be of any material you choose. You are completely enclosed in this box. There are no doors or windows, no way to get in or out. You do not know how you got in or how to get out.

As you imagine yourself in this box, what are your reactions? What thoughts or feelings do you have? Remain in this imaginary state for a minute or so to fully experience your feelings.

STOP! DON’T READ ANY FURTHER UNTIL YOU HAVE TAKEN A MINUTE TO EXPERIENCE THIS SENSATION!

Good. Did you feel panic? How about curiosity? There are a multitude of reactions, and yours are perfectly normal regardless of what they were.

Your reactions to this exercise are similar to those you might experience as you pass into death. Now reexamine your reactions to the box, only apply these to death. How do you feel about death? Don’t judge yourself, simply examine. You now have a starting point from which to examine your current death beliefs.

For our second exercise, imagine yourself walking down a path. Create your path; notice the details. Is it wide, narrow, smooth, rough, beautiful, not-so-beautiful, straight, or winding? You decide. After you walk for awhile you come to a wall. The wall can be any form you like, but it must run across your path and stretch so far that you cannot walk around it.

Create the wall now!

Now move beyond the wall. What do you see? Take a minute to experience this vision. Relax and play with the images.

Don’t read on until you have experienced this! No fudging!

This path represents your view of your life. Was your life easy or rough? Was your path well worn, or are you blazing new trails? Was your path straight or winding? If you did not like your path, know that you have full power to change it any time you choose. You can add plants, flowers — in short, create any path you choose whenever you choose.

Examine the wall. Was it high and solid or low and insubstantial? What kind was it? How did you move beyond the wall? Was it hard? What were your reactions to moving beyond the wall? What did you find on the other side?

The wall represents the separation of life and death. Beyond the wall is your symbolic subconscious view of the afterlife. Now reexamine your images. If you do not like what you experienced, simply choose a new creation and construct new images.

There are no right answers, yet, at the same time, all answers are right. Your answers represent a combination of what you have been conditioned to believe about death and your personal reality of death. If you are happy with your subconscious death reality, that’s great. If you are uncomfortable with your symbolic representation of death, then create a new one as you read on.

Death need not be scary. In fact, in many ways death can be compared to going away to college. It may cause a little apprehension at first. The change may even produce some stress. But after awhile you can actually become excited about the prospect of going away to your great new adventure. There are many who would even say you are lucky to be going. Death is even easier than college because there is no packing to do, no tuition to pay, nor written exams to take.

As you get comfortable with the concept of death, then you can begin to let go of any fearful notions of death. Allow yourself to have a variety of death options, all pleasant. This allows you to stay open and receptive to your own unique death adventure when it occurs, which may be different from the one you have created.

If, however, the concept of death still makes you tremble with fear, and you can’t leave it in such an unformed and unpleasant condition, then take a few moments to create your own picture of what death will be like for you. Play this image over and over until it becomes your new reality of death. Thus, when you die you will automatically create this familiar reality. Eventually the actual reality will pierce your awareness, but this created reality will be a pleasant first encounter, certainly much better than fear or panic.

Remember, your thoughts have power. If you believe that there is a hell and that this is what you deserve, presto! you create it for yourself. If, on the other hand, you think there is a heaven with streets lined with gold and angels floating around and that this is your reward for living the good life, then that is what you will experience. Eventually, when (and if) you settle down, you will learn the truth about death. But why risk having a terrible time and perhaps have some less-than-enjoyable experiences while you are figuring it out? Better to create a death reality you wish to experience; after death and whenever you are ready, you will know the truth.

Just create in your mind a picture of your most desirable place. This image will be different for everyone. Do you want perfect peace or high adventure? How about a party with all your old friends and relatives, or a quiet talk with God? Would you like to experience the loving light that so many speak of? You decide, then create that reality. Thus when you die, this will indeed be what you experience immediately upon your death. This familiar scene will calm your fears and lessen your shock at finding yourself dead. It can even create a mild sense of anticipation.

Keep in mind that there is no hell, except to the extent that you create it. But, just because you have created a wonderful death experience, this does not mean you will escape responsibility for all your Earthly actions. As someone once said, “Paybacks are hell,” and you will feel the need to payback or bring balance to this life. So continue to live a responsible and enjoyable life and no hellish paybacks will be necessary.

Dr. Heather Anne Harder

Author

  • Dr. Heather Anne Harder is a Professor of Education at Governors State University, Indiana. Dr. Harder travels worldwide lecturing and sharing the Light. She was also a candidate in the 2000 elections for U.S. President.