{"id":3367,"date":"2006-08-15T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-08-15T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/compassionate-communications-compassionate-care\/"},"modified":"2021-06-25T20:10:12","modified_gmt":"2021-06-25T20:10:12","slug":"compassionate-communications-compassionate-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/compassionate-communications-compassionate-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Compassionate Communications: Compassionate Care"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cNo one can ever be fully prepared for the challenges of care- giving. The tasks and responsibilities involved can be demanding, even more so when caregivers themselves are frail, have been thrust into their role unexpectedly or reluctantly, or must care for someone who is uncooperative or combative.\u201d – The Merck Manual of Health and Healing, p. 177<\/p>\n

Caregivers may face overwhelming physical, financial, and emotional demands as a function of their service. This article addresses the psychological and spiritual aspect of being in a caregiver role, and presents some ideas for self-care and empowerment. As we help and heal ourselves, we are better suited to help others.<\/p>\n

Make your communications from \u201cI\u201d rather than \u201cYou\u201d<\/strong>
\nFor example:
\n“I feel worried that you will fall” vs. “You make me worry that you will fall”<\/p>\n

“I don\u2019t agree with what you are saying” vs. “You are lying!”<\/p>\n

In other words, use sentences that communicate the reality of your experience. Statements that begin with \u201cI\u201d usually communicate feelings that belong to you and only you.<\/p>\n

Reframe hostile communications<\/strong>
\nFor example:
\n\u201cYou are no good! You never help me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Reframed: “What I hear you saying is that you feel I am not helping you”<\/p>\n

And check in, “Is this accurate? Is that what you meant to say?”<\/p>\n

You spot it, you got it<\/strong>
\nOften times the things that bother us the most about another person are the things that bother us about ourselves. When people make blaming statement such as “You are so selfish” or “You are so needy”, they are telling you something about themselves that makes them uncomfortable. By looking inside we can truly understand the cause of the suffering.<\/p>\n

You spot it, you got it (and sometimes you don\u2019t)<\/strong>
\nSometimes the thing that bothers us the most about another person is something we “would never ever do\u201d. The person we are in conflict with is a teacher, showing us the parts of ourselves that we may deem as ugly. This is a calling for balance. This is a calling for that ugly part to show it\u2019s face just a little.<\/p>\n

There is No One Good Cup of Coffee<\/strong>
\nWhat is a good cup of coffee? Cream and sugar? Black? Sugar only? Cream only? There is no \u201creality\u201d to a \u201cgood cup of coffee\u201d. This can only be defined by the drinker. Your reality belongs to you. Other\u2019s reality belongs to them. Neither reality is \u201cright\u201d or \u201cwrong\u201d. We simply interpret things based on our own values.<\/p>\n

There are a number of books and theories on the topic of Compassionate Communication (see references at the end of this article)<\/p>\n

Jill Sarah Moscowitz<\/em><\/p>\n

References and Books<\/strong><\/p>\n

Loving What Is by Byron Katie<\/p>\n

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life?by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.<\/p>\n

The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey to the Heart of Dispute Resolution by Kenneth Cloke<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cNo one can ever be fully prepared for the challenges of care- giving…even more so when caregivers … have been thrust into their role unexpectedly or reluctantly, or must care for someone who is uncooperative or combative.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,5,13,9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[957],"class_list":["post-3367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-care-for-the-caregiver-nurturing","category-caregiver-issues","category-caregivers-experiences-ideas","category-mental-health-emotional-issues"],"authors":[{"term_id":957,"user_id":0,"is_guest":1,"slug":"jill-sarah-moscowitz","display_name":"Jill Sarah Moscowitz","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g","1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3367","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3367"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3367\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4842,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3367\/revisions\/4842"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3367"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3367"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3367"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3367"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}