{"id":3150,"date":"2003-12-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2003-12-20T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/forgive-forget\/"},"modified":"2021-06-29T15:02:34","modified_gmt":"2021-06-29T15:02:34","slug":"forgive-forget","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/forgive-forget\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgive & Forget"},"content":{"rendered":"

This morning, I woke up mad.
\nI woke up mad because I went to bed mad as a result of an argument with Alison.
\nYeah, I know\u2014there\u2019s a shocker.
\nIf you\u2019ve read this column for any length of time, you already know that she, like no other, can push my buttons faster and harder than anyone.<\/p>\n

I held on to my mad-ness through breakfast, through strapping the kids into the car for school, through not waving at her as she drove off.
\nI carried my grouchy, righteousness throughout the bike ride straight into my office.
\nI got a grip and I\u2019m hangin\u2019 on.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, I like being mad.
\nIntellectually I know that holding onto junk turns me into a junkyard. It\u2019s just that\u2014well\u2014sometimes I don\u2019t feel very intellectual. I\u2019m quite content mired in my stuff, grumping up a storm.
\nI think I\u2019ll wallow for a spell.<\/p>\n

Most of us have a hard time giving up on being \u201cright\u201d. We take ourselves so seriously, addicted to our own self-importance.
\n\u201cIf only that insensitive, uncaring, take-me-for-granted, ungrateful so-and-so would do what I wanted her (or him) to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Huh?
\n\u201cWhat I wanted\u2026???\u201d
\nYou mean this is about me?
\nYep.
\nAlways.<\/p>\n

Confucius once said:
\n\u201cThose who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves must pass.\u201d
\nIt makes no difference who did or said what.
\nIf you hold onto it, you own it.
\nMore often than not, the object of your grudge goes about their daily business oblivious to your extra load.
\nYou lug it by yourself, for yourself and by choice.<\/p>\n

Here come the \u201cyeah-buts.\u201d
\n\u201cYeah, but she\u2019s the one that\u2026\u201d
\n\u201cYeah, but he\u2019s the bozo that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

He or she touched a raw nerve?
\nWho belongs to that nerve?
\nIs it their job to fix your nervous system?
\nI don\u2019t think so.
\nPhysician, heal thyself.<\/p>\n

We need to pay more attention to our mental refuse, morph from garbage collectors to garbage men, dumping not gathering.
\nWhat burden could you unload today?
\nWho could you reach out and touch?<\/p>\n

If the words \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d seem to freeze on your tongue and send your mouth into a twitter, could you at least check in with that tarnished relationship, make an attempt at conciliation?
\n\u201cHey, I know our interaction didn\u2019t turn out so well the other night. I wanted to call and see how you\u2019re doing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Something.
\nYou\u2019ll be amazed at how quickly you jettison useless debris.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re all connected.
\nYour efforts to deep-six karmic slop will ripple like a pebble thrown into a pond. If you take the first leap, chances are she or he will respond in kind.
\nWhat if the ripples start to spread?<\/p>\n

My self-imposed trash-pack suddenly feels too heavy and a wonderful woman that I fell in love with deserves an apology.
\nI gotta\u2019 make a call.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s A View From The Ridge\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ridgely Goldsborough<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The author speaks about letting go…and not carrying anger.. healing and forgiving others and yourself…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1050],"class_list":["post-3150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health-emotional-issues"],"authors":[{"term_id":1050,"user_id":0,"is_guest":1,"slug":"ridgely-goldsborough","display_name":"Ridgely Goldsborough","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g","1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3150"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5106,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3150\/revisions\/5106"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3150"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}