{"id":3139,"date":"2003-12-12T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2003-12-12T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/stay-inside-the-heart\/"},"modified":"2021-06-29T15:03:00","modified_gmt":"2021-06-29T15:03:00","slug":"stay-inside-the-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/stay-inside-the-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"Stay Inside The Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"

The man sat outside on the steps, dejected, his head in his hands. \u201cWhen am I ever going to get it?\u201d he thought.<\/p>\n

Another senseless fight.
\nA foolish tit for tat, a he-said, she-said spat that escalated into a screaming match.
\n\u201cWhy do I always have to be right?\u201d he asked himself for the millionth time. \u201cAs if I ever am\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

He rubbed his brow, stood up, opened the door to his car and drove to the office.
\nHe couldn\u2019t reach her now even if he wanted to. Maybe a little space\u2026<\/p>\n

Throughout the day he stared at the phone.
\n\u201cShould I call? Should I buy flowers? Should I pick up a card?\u201d
\nHe wrestled with his inner voices, Mr. Justify versus Get-A-Clue, self-righteousness versus understanding.<\/p>\n

He wondered how she felt. Though he longed to connect, he didn\u2019t know how.
\nHe agonized his way through a tormented, troubled afternoon.<\/p>\n

Boy, can I relate.
\nAt our house, Ali and I keep a big heart on a piece of paper taped to our living room wall. Outside the heart, we printed the words \u201churt, frustrated, sad, angry\u201d and others of similar ilk.
\nOn the heart itself, we wrote \u201chappy, caring, joyful, in love\u201d and so on.<\/p>\n

When our children throw tantrums, yell at each other or act out, we talk to them about the heart.
\nWe strive to stay inside and return as quickly as possible when we stray.
\nWe hug each other, melt the anger, smile and connect.<\/p>\n

With young bundles of raw emotion, this works well. When it comes to more complex adults\u2014well\u2014we do our best.<\/p>\n

I try to remind myself that no matter how legitimate, defensible or rational my reasoning, I cause only suffering by lingering outside the heart.
\nNo one wins.
\nWhen I do, I wear the reward of heaviness\u2014an anvil of dread and doom that colors everything a dark shade.<\/p>\n

Yuck.
\nWhat a waste.
\nYou\u2019d think I would listen to my own counsel, follow my kids\u2019 lead.
\nWhy would I cling to such misery-inducing stubbornness?
\nMakes no sense.<\/p>\n

Let me analyze this: apology or hang out to dry in a whirlwind of grief, distress and despair? Hmmmmm.<\/p>\n

The man walked into his house and found her seated in the kitchen.
\nShe glanced up furtively, then down again. He caught her baby doe eyes, the ones blinded by bright headlights, a mixture of fear, sorrow and disappointment.
\nA bolt shot through his chest.
\n\u201cWow. That hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n

He placed the single rose on the table, knelt on the floor and sought her gaze.
\nFor an interminable moment he poured his life out to her.
\nFinally, he took her hand, squeezed it and spoke. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

For the first time in what seemed like forever, she smiled.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s A View From The Ridge\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ridgely Goldsborough<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The author shares how it doesn’t feel good when you go away from someone with anger.. and how to let go.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1050],"class_list":["post-3139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health-emotional-issues"],"authors":[{"term_id":1050,"user_id":0,"is_guest":1,"slug":"ridgely-goldsborough","display_name":"Ridgely Goldsborough","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/?s=96&d=mm&r=g","1":"","2":"","3":"","4":"","5":"","6":"","7":"","8":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3139"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3139\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5107,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3139\/revisions\/5107"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3139"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/care-givers.com\/articles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}