Yesterday, I shared the story of my friend, Bob, who had a serious stroke about a year ago. It set me to thinkin’.
What if it happened to you (or me)?
Imagine this.
You have a stroke. You lose control over half of your body. Your speaking skills disappear. You take so much medication that your mind weaves in and out of consciousness, from fog to haze, with only brief moments of clarity.
You’ve blown most of the circuitry and will have to re-build it one neuron connection at a time.
By the time you begin physical therapy, your body screams from the knots in your muscles. Every movement feels like a knife or an ice pick jabs at you. You suffer excruciating pain. To make matters worse, no one understands because you can’t tell them. The emotional toil scratches at your soul, one gouge after another. You lash out. You boil with rage and frustration, rebel by not doing your exercises, the only activity that will couple brain with bodily functions.
Giving up seems preferable. You could stop the torture, end the agony.
Except that giving up is not an option.
Because she won’t let you.
The formidable strength behind Bob’s recovery lies not with him. It came from Sue.
Sue, Bob’s forever partner, refused to accept anything but a full revival from the man who shared her life for over 50 years. She pushed the rehabilitation, fought with insurance companies, negotiated with treatment centers, refused to take NO for an answer, again and again, in the face of whatever the obstacle. She endured Bob’s outbursts of anger, outlasted his rebellions, interrogated doctors, nurses and therapists in the search for answers that would bring her man back.
In the dramatic realm of sheer willpower, she wins the Oscar hands down.
How often does this scenario play—true strength resting in the iron heart of a woman?
Only every day, every hour, in every country. Women—givers of life, nurturers, healers, pillars of the family, leaders in so many ways. Men will never match that substance, that energy, that soft might.
Puffed up by our own egos, men claim far more credit than due. Blinded by self-importance, we garner the accolades, covet the fame.
We would be well-served to put the spotlight where it belongs—on the more fair, able and without question more powerful being of our species –the women.
Men, who could you acknowledge and appreciate today? Do it.
Women, we salute you and pay homage. Please accept our honoring of you by honoring yourself this day. Mere words shall never suffice. We will give voice to this honor with our actions.
In a twisted turn of fate, Bob suffered his stroke two weeks before their 50th anniversary, a grand affair planned at Valentino’s in Santa Monica, California, one of America’s finest restaurants. That party had to be postponed.
Because of Sue, they will dine at Valentino’s next week—to celebrate their 51st.
That’s A View From The Ridge…
Ridgely Goldsborough
