Many people with bladder control problems feel ashamed and embarrassed about their symptoms and avoid talking about them, even with their loved ones. Likewise, you may find it hard to bring up this subject. But some action is needed if you want to improve the situation, and you may be the only one who can encourage your loved one to see a doctor.
If you are concerned that a friend or family member may have a bladder control problem, there are several important things you should know:
- A bladder control problem is a medical condition.
- Bladder control problems are not an inevitable and normal part of aging.
- Most bladder control problems are treatable.
- Bladder control problems are very common.
How can I tell if a friend or family member might have a bladder control problem?
Many people with bladder control problems feel ashamed and embarrassed, and they may make great efforts to hide their condition. However, a person with a bladder control problem often develops certain noticeable patterns of behavior, such as:
- Going to the bathroom frequently
- “Mapping out” bathroom locations
- Rushing to a bathroom immediately after arriving at his or her destination
- Wearing dark, baggy clothing (to disguise disposable pads or the signs of a urinary accident)
- Limiting fluid intake, especially before a trip away from home or away from known bathroom locations
These and other similar behaviors may indicate that someone has a bladder control problem.
How can I start the conversation?
First, it may be helpful to learn more about bladder control problems and potential treatments for these conditions. This will enable you to explain the facts and to recommend good sources of information.
Before beginning the conversation, remind yourself of the primary goal – getting your loved one to talk to a doctor about his or her bladder control problem. When you discuss a bladder control problem, always be respectful of your friend or family member’s need for independence, dignity, and ability to make decisions appropriate for his or her own life.
Explain to your loved one that bladder control problems are very common and that he or she is not alone. Reassure them that these conditions and treatable and that doctors see many patients with similar symptoms nearly every day.
You may find that your friend or family member denies having a bladder control problem. In many cases, people with these problems believe they are “managing” just fine on their own (through behaviors such as wearing baggy clothing, limiting fluid intake, etc.) He or she also may believe some of the myths about bladder control problems (eg, they are a normal part of aging, or there are no effective treatments). You should explain that these beliefs are untrue. In your conversation, try to emphasize all of the “positives” that may result from getting treatment, such as the return to a more active lifestyle and to feeling like one’s “old self,” rather than letting disruptive symptoms rule one’s life.
If your loved one agrees to see a doctor, you may want to help him or her prepare for the visit. One helpful approach is to keep a symptom diary for a 3-day period. The diary should include how much the person drank each day, how often he or she went to the bathroom, and the amount urinated each time. Your friend or family member may also consider filling in the screening questionnaire at the end of this article. The diary and the completed questionnaire may provide a good starting point for discussing symptoms with a doctor.
Talking to someone about a bladder control problem may not be easy. But showing concern and offering support may be all it takes to help to reduce the burden of these symptoms – and the anxiety and embarrassment that go along with them – in your loved one’s life.
For more information on overactive bladder, visit:
American Foundation for Urologic Disease
http://www.afud.org/oab/
American Medical Women’s Association – Overactive Bladder Initiative
http://www.amwa-doc.org/Education/ overactive_bladder.htm
InteliHealth Caregiver Zone
http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH?t=9030
National Association for Continence
http://www.nafc.org
National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse
http://www.niddk.nih.gov/health/urolog
Pharmacia & Upjohn – Overactivebladder.com http://www.overactivebladder.com
The Simon Foundation for Continence
http://www.simonfoundation.org/html/index.html
WellnessWeb – Access to Continence Care and Treatment
http://www.wellweb.com/INCONT/urinacct.htm
Eric S. Rovner M.D.
