I can sense how deeply affected you are by all that has occurred to your loved one. Watching their decline has made it horrific for you as well, which caused not only physical illness but serious psychological turmoil as well. How I can identify with all of that!!

I wanted to remind you of things I forgot about for a very long time after Mom died. When you truly love someone unconditionally, as our loved ones love US, you want only the BEST for them. You do not want them to suffer, struggle, be saddened, depressed and grieved all the time. You would do whatever was in your power to make things better and cause the pressures to ease and all the joys of life to be bestowed upon them.

Even though I have not raised children, in a way I have cuz our loved ones are our children!! No one understands that statement unless they have lived it, believe me. Your loved one cares for you and would not want you overwhelmed with sorrow and grief over their condition. They themselves are probably totally unaware of what is occurring in their physical body. It is my experience with my own mother that things which truly seemed horrific to ME, Mom never seemed to notice or even remember. God gave her grace to either not feel it, not remember it, or took her to a hiding place where she did not even know it!! I believe this with all of my heart and will until my dying day?

All I really wanted to say here is that I wish only good things to come your way. You have borne such a heavy load for so many years, and it has taken its toll indeed. Although you would not change any decisions you have made in behalf of your loved one, nor would I, it still changes us forever and we are never the person we were before they grew so ill. But God gives us back all that the locusts have eaten, He gives us the oil of joy for mourning, and causes our sorrows to flee away. My healing has been very very slow in coming, but come it is and I am indeed grateful for it.

Your loved one is in a safe place, where no one can harm them or hurt them anymore. They are hidden with God, and that is the best that any of us could ever hope for!!

© 2000 Dorothy Womack