Although my circumstance was connected to caregiving for my own mother, I address this to those caregivers today who are dealing with spousal responsibilites.
Loneliness, I believe, is not a condition of the MIND, but of the SPIRIT – You miss what you shared with your loved one before the illness took over – You miss their touch, their companionship, their presence – You are not yet ready to adjust to the world of “widow/widower” as your loved one is still living on the earth – You do not “fit” because others have already moved beyond the physical loss of their mates, and you have not even arrived!!
This presents an unbelievable hardship, in my eyes – to watch the person to whom you committed your entire life start to slowly disappear right before your very eyes. I would think it would bring a sadness much deeper than words could ever express and a loneliness which could not be dismissed without the Spirit’s consolation within your heart. Keep your eyes wide open, because surely there is another person out there who has a loved one in a similar condition also. Someone who would understand your loneliness and need for someone to relate your true feelings, not just make small talk.
I know you feel no one has ever walked through this ordeal before, but I have learned myself that my experience was not an isolated one either – Yes, the situations are individual to us as human beings, but they are not beyond the realm of human experience!! What this means is that even though my situation seemed tailor made to ME, it has happened to others in different ways, but with the same solution – Turning to God for our help, our hope and our haven…….
Dorothy Womack
