(NOTE: The following article was posted on a list serves that I subscribe to. EdythAnn posted her daughter’s essay on the list for our reading. I was so touched by the level of awareness that Rebecca possessed, that I wrote to both EdithAnn and Rebecca asking for permission to include it in our caregiving articles. Their immediate response was yes.)
I am grateful to include Rebecca Lynn’s article, as I have always believed that children, no matter how young in age, have an acute sensitivity and awareness as to what is going on when a loved one is ill. As adults, we have our own difficulties working through the experiences but it is ever so important to be able to communicate your feelings and issues with your children. If we still ourselves long enough to really listen and hear our children when they speak from their heart, we may grow and heal more ourselves.
Rebecca Lynn, thank you for sharing a part of you with all caregivers.)
To Members of The List
Tonight my youngest had to type up her essay for English class. She had typed it in Win6 and just as she finished it, Win6 did some illegal procedure and she lost all her hard work. She had it all written down on a separate piece of paper, so I offered in the interest of getting her assignment done to type it up for her, seeing as she had already typed it once.
She was being real secretive about it so I told her I would not read it; just type it. Well I of course read it as I typed it and I asked her if I could send it in to the list as I felt it gave a great view from the eyes of a 15 year old that grew up with her AD grandma.
Signed,
EdythAnn
EdythAnn hosts a wonderful Alzheimer’s Chat on the Internet Monday night. Chats are at Candids Virtual Carers chat room at 9PM EST at: http://dementia.ion.ucl.ac.uk/candid/chat.htm
And Tuesday nights the chats are held at 9PM EST at her site at: http://members.xoom.com/Bubblehead.1/AlzheimersCG.htm
Life With A Loved One With Alzheimer’s
Copyrighted by Rebecca Lynn Knox 02/27/00
“Who are you little girl?”
“I am your granddaughter.”
15 mins. later.
“Hi Grandma.”
“Who are you get out of my house! I am going to kill you!”
This is a common sound you would hear in my house when I first moved in.
In a house with a loved one who has Alzheimer’s things can get out of hand. Especially with my Grandma, the never-ending remarks of “I am going to kill you!,” “Who is this stranger?”, and “Get out of my house!” were always among the most common.
Alzheimer’s is a hard thing to deal with. To have a Loved One with Alzheimer’s is a painful thing. Your Love One will not know who you are, because of Alz. No matter how much you try they won’t remember you, so you will start your travel on the road that will kill your Love One and tear you in two. Even though it hurts that your Loved One doesn’t know you, she is still here; this will comfort you for a little while. Your Love One that is an adult and well educated, who could speak well, now can’t speak at all. Instead they say “MrrpqustyVADmmR.” and at this you will cry. Then you will wonder “WHY!”, but this won’t satisfy you. You may try to get them to speak, but it won’t work and you will get mad. Your Loved One will forget how to walk. This will be one of the hardest changes yet. You are sure to get worked up over this. When you go to carry them and you fail, you feel as though you let everyone down, but you have not. These are some hard stages but the ones to come can be harder.
The last stage and death can be filled with relief and some of the gravest pain you have ever gone through. Your Loved One will lose the ability to use the bathroom on their own. This will be embarrassing and you will try to hide it and hide from it, but it will still be there. When you finally face the fact that your Loved One needs your help going to the restroom, you’ll cry. You will bite your tongue and do what you have to do. your Loved One will become bedridden and will need to be turned regularly. This will be the hardest stage while your Loved One is alive, you will be sure to hate this. Again, it will make you cry and you’ll ask “WHY!”, but you will face this too and you will survive.
About this time your Loved One will pass on. This will give you relief for the new freedom you’ve found but you’ll feel guilty for this relief. This will also give you a sadness that seems never-ending, but it will end. The death of your Loved One is both dreadful and relieving.
In conclusion Alzheimer’s goes through many stages which are hard to deal with. They will not know who you are. they will forget how to speak. They will forget how to walk. They will lose the ability to use the restroom. They will become bedridden. Finally they will pass on.
Submitted with the permission of :
Rebecca Lynn
and her mother,
Edyth Ann aka Bubblehead aka Queen Bubble
EMAIL: edythann@netzero.net
