Autumn reminds me of the eternality of life, and not to be fooled by appearances. The trees lose their leaves and, for a long time, appear to be dead. Yet meanwhile life has a far grander design, and in the spring they are renewed and grow to even greater stature. Often what seems like a death is just a sleeping. True life never dies; it just changes shapes and shows up in more wonderful ways.

So it is with the changes in our lives. We never really lose; we just build on what has been. If a relationship, friendship, career, or living situation is right and good for you, it will remain in force by the power of love and the Law of Attraction. If it ends or leaves, something better and more appropriate is in store. Sometimes relationships that appear dead are just sleeping, and, by applying more appreciation, can be renewed and go even deeper. The answer is always spiritual, and love is the highest expression of spirit.

I was reminded of the power of love during our recent Mastery Training in Maui. I had the honor to participate in monumental changes in the lives of people who are ready to claim the life they would choose. What a gift! Growth is not about finding out what is wrong and correcting it; it is about finding out what is right and drawing it forth.

I heard about a psychologist who was assigned to work with a young man with a long history of drug addiction. This patient showed up with a thick dossier of diagnoses and failed treatments. This psychologist, however, took a different tack. He didn’t focus on his patient’s addiction at all. Instead he kept asking the fellow, “Who are you when you are not an addict?” and “What did you do this week that was joyful, powerful, and productive?'” Over a period of time the young man’s energy transformed and he utterly dropped his addiction. He shifted his sense of identity from addiction to personal mastery. As Dale Carnegie urged, “Give them a reputation to live up to!

By Alan Cohen


  • Alan Cohen is the author of many popular inspirational books, including the best-selling Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It, the award-winning A Deep Breath of Life and his newest is the prosperity guide Relax into Wealth.

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