click here to return to contents
Many of you might have grown up being rewarded or verbally acknowledged for doing something for someone else. This belief that a reward should come from everything you do is something that has followed you into your adulthood. Think about your needs that come up when you help your loved one and expect something back in return for all that you are doing. Do you feel peaceful and loving? Do you feel joyful? If not, please read on.
Many of you experience this need to be acknowledged, to be accepted, to be patted on the head. This is your issue and not your loved one's.
Some of you may have volunteered to be a Caregiver to your loved one. However, most of you were involuntarily thrown into this challenging role without a choice. Those of you who were thrown into the role are the ones that are usually most needy. So there are many lessons to learn. The first is to reach a point from within yourself where you can serve unconditionally from a loving space without any expectation of reciprocity from your loved one. When you can achieve this level of awareness, you will be rewarded tenfold. It won't necessarily be from your loved one. However, the universe does provide for us in miraculous ways when we open ourselves to receiving in this fashion.
Can you relate to this? Remember different times as a youngster, when you might have given someone a special gift, or did something special from them. Let us say that you were surprising them. Reflect back to the feelings you experienced. Can you remember feeling giddy and so excited that you couldn't wait to see the expression on their face? Their surprised look was all that you would need to sustain yourself. You had no expectation of receiving anything in return as you gave from the pureness of your heart unconditionally. Please write about your experiences; how you felt, and your attitude at the time. Be as observant as you can.
As we have discussed previously, beliefs are habitual conditioned patterns of thought that can be retrained through awareness as well as affirmations. To serve others requires you to put into action much of what is the lesson in this exercise.
You know that when your heart is open and you feel more loving to yourselves, that you are able to be more loving towards others. I am sure you will agree. True service, when given from the heart, unconditionally, know no barriers. You feel alive and on purpose. You trust in yourself more: your actions, your decisions, your communications, etc. Service is an attitude or a way of being. Service must be exemplified in everything you do.
One of the best ways to begin initiating change in your old patterns is to awaken each morning and ask yourself right out loud into the air; "how can I be of service to others today?" Knowing that your thoughts whether positive or negative manifest to support your thinking, by saying this statement out loud, you will begin to attract situations or people into your life to support you in the action of being of service,
Start by doing little things at first. Opening a door for someone. Saying excuse me. Saying hello to someone when looking in their eyes. Work on easy acts of kindness first and let them build to the issues surrounding your loved ones.
Remember: in giving, you are receiving. In giving, you feel wonderful, alive, loving, peaceful and so much more. The more you give, the more you receive.
Observe the shifts daily and write about what you experience. You may even find that without expectation, others might respond in kind. Service is a gift. It is a gift that you think you are giving to others. However, it is truly a gift that you give to yourself.
Blessings to you.
©COPYRIGHT GAIL R. MITCHELL 5/11/99