click here to return to contents
or click hearts to navigate ba& forth


Letting Go Of Your Anger And Hurt

Last week in the private chat on AOL, there was quite a discussion of the hurt and anger that people were holding onto for many, many years. Many had expressed that they were still so caught up in their emotions towards the one(s) who had caused their pain. There was no completion in site for any of them. I was astounded to hear how many were suffering from unresolved conflicts in their personal lives.

Some of the thoughts that were shared follow:
•They were harboring things said to them that simply weren't true.
•Why would someone want to hurt me that way?
•Had some put a false guilt on your shoulders?
•They imposed a guilt trip on me that was not mine to carry
•They hurt my reputation very badly.
•I am still waiting for an apology.
Maybe they really weren't friends after all.

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

•Why do you let others cause harm to you in the first place?
•What good does it do you to carry this pain and hurt?
•What is inside you that allows you to carry the pain and hurt?

for example:

•Your own insecurities

•Giving your power to another because you need approval,
• You believe it might be true or there was some basis for it.
•It might be their perception or view which they are entitled to.

•What can you learn from this experience?

You must look at the levels of awareness or consciousness of those who have caused you pain. Then you have a choice to address them directly, by expressing your feelings to them or move into forgiveness for yourself as well as the person who has harmed you. Holding onto the pain and hurt does not serve you. It builds within you into other "dis -eases" or "lack of ease." By harboring these negative feelings, you continue to place your time and energies that do not support your well being. You keep going over and over the experience and perhaps you haven't gleaned on the lesson you need to learn from it.

A friend once told me that Buddha said that holding onto anger and resentment is like holding onto a hot coal you have picked up. The rational thing to do is to throw it away before it burns your hand. Forgiveness doesn't really have anything to do with the individual who has harmed you. Forgiveness has to do with you. Forgiveness sets you free. When you are focused on the past hurt you are not in the present. You will never experience happiness when you are focused on the past negative experiences. When you are negative, you are not loving to yourself or others. When you are not in the present, you are not living your life fully, and you are not open to receiving the abundance from the Universe that you deserve.

When things come up in the future, you may say to yourself. I am not going to hold onto this any longer. I love myself too much. Then you can forgive yourself and the other person. See if there is a lesson to learn and move on. Remember, you always have choices.

The exercise for letting go is to sit quietly and go within yourself. Relax yourself as you have in past exercises. Breathe in love and light on each inhale. Breathe out all your negative worries, thoughts, doubts, etc., on each exhale.

For the very last time, recreate the whole negative, hurtful experience that you have been carrying with you for such a long time. Visualize all the details; as much as you can. Get into feeling all that you have harbored throughout time.

When you come out of this meditative state you will have several choices to choose from. Either pick up the phone and call the individual(s) and tell them what you have been experiencing. Visit the person who has harmed you and tell them face to face or sit down and write a letter expressing everything to them. You may choose to mail or not mail the letter when you are finished with this exercise.

If you can be the observer looking into the eyes of the one(s) who harmed you, you will most likely see them differently, perhaps even understand the reason for their actions. Most of all you may even move into compassion for them.

Consciously begin forgiving yourself so that you may set yourself free. Don't worry about the other person. God or the Universe will take care of them. They are not your concern. You are your concern at this point in time.

Freedom is from within.....Go for it! Let go and be fully present in this moment and every moment of your life!

Blessings to you.

©COPYRIGHTED by Gail R. Mitchell 7/22/99 


click here to return to contents
or click hearts to navigate back & forth
© Copyright 1998 - 2000 by Gail R. Mitchell..
It is illegal to reprint articles, in any format (including emails, websites, etc.), without explicit written permission from the author of this article and / or Empowering Caregivers™


Problems? Praise? Broken links? Missing Pages?
contact our webmaster
Click here
EMPOWERING CAREGIVERS™ is trademarked. All Information on this website is owned by Gail R. Mitchell. This includes but is not limited to the journal exercises, Newsletters and original articles, etc. Permission must be obtained from Gail R. Mitchell for any external use of this material. © by G. R. Mitchell