Choices ~ Healing ~ Love
December 15, 2002
Publisher & Editor: GAIL R. MITCHELL- Grm4lLove
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As I reflect back to prior years during the holiday season, I always seem to find such miraculous beauty and peace in the lights which are celebrated in most religions: for where there is no darkness where there is light. And, just as the light nullifies the darkness; our positive thoughts nullify our negative thoughts and beliefs. Likewise hatred is nullified by the most powerful healing power in the Universe.. the healing power of "LOVE".
The holidays can be a time fully of joy, celebrations and family gatherings. And for many it is a time of self-evaluation, loneliness, reflection of past failures, hurts and anxiety about the uncertain future. For many it is particularly difficult because their loved ones will not be present on the material plane.
People come into our life for a reason, a short time, or a lifetime. Sometimes we lose sight of the bigger picture that our "Creator" or the "Universe" has had in store for us. In becoming immersed in our sadness and grief, we sometimes lose site of our other gifts that we came into this life with. They are our spiritual, intuitive or psychic gifts...call it what you may. However, if we are so caught up in our losses, we don't always take time to sit in the stillness of our own energy to ask out loud to connect with our loved ones. Our loved ones truly remain in our hearts.. and many of us have been visited and sense or feel their presence.. and many of us have seen and heard them.
The over commercialization in particular this year with an outbreak of war hovering in the back of our minds, the "holiday blues" may hit more caregivers than normal. Stress, unrealistic expectations, fatigue, finances and the inability to celebrate as you would want to, all add to the lows of the season we can experience. Shopping, cooking, preparing and caring can escalate the responses in us. While for many families it is a time to reconnect with family members but for millions of others it is a painful time to go back to the dysfunction of their family's life....so K.I.S.S. Keep it simple silly....Let all of it go right now in this moment as you are reading...take a deep breath and remind yourself that if something were to happen to you right now, who would do everything that you have been trying to accomplish under such pressures... let it go..
I had to do this with this issue of the newsletter. I just couldn't seem to get to it until this weekend. My own health is needing more balance and healing so I am creating time to nurture and heal. Often one of my little voices nags awat at me to keep pushing so that the articles are updated, the newsletter is written, organizational needs are met with NOFEC and make sure my mother is doing ok as well. I am actually laughing as I write this.. I too, can get so caught up in it all.. but you know we're human.. and in our humaness, we must committ to caring for ourselves as we do for others for if we aren't taken proper care for ourselves, then others are not really getting 100% of our caring...jeapoardizing our own health to give others care is not what caring is about..we aren't martyrs and surely we aren't victims although at times, it may feel as we are.
Let go, let go, let go... leave the dusting, leave the cooking and preparation, leave the laundry, the dirty dishes... and just be.. enroll others to help.. and if there are no others...just let it go for a few days and just breathe... and let yourself feel free from within... all this mixed energy inside you breeds weakened immune systems and disease... this isn't why we were guided to care for our loved ones...think about it and then take some special time for you...remember to K.l.S.S.
May this holiday season bring you much love, peace, good health, all you dare to dream for and much more. Let your imagination soar as you begin to unfold....
Richest Blessings to you on your journey.
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Has everyone noticed that the Christmas Holidays have come earlier this year or is it just me? It used to be that my stress level increased and my tolerance decreased just before Thanksgiving. But I swear I saw stores decorated shortly after Labor Day. Yes, the Holidays are joyous times but they can be down right stressful too.
There are four basic rules:
Knowing your loved one's level of understanding and physical ability will help you to provide activities that he/she can manage and enjoy. Play music and sing songs especially old holiday melodies. Reminisce with photo albums while telling family stories. Include the children to make it a rewarding experience for both young and old. Encourage self-expression and creativity by making craft items like holiday fans or paper garlands. When baking, encourage your loved one to help. He/she can cut out cookies using large cookie cutters or decorate them using a cookie stamp. Make sending holiday cards a joint effort, too. Your loved one can participate by putting cards in or stamps on envelopes. Keeping your loved one involved gives him/her a purpose and a sense of accomplishment.
Happy Holidays and God Bless.
Mary C. Fridley
Mary C. Fridley RN, C is a Registered Nurse board certified in gerontology with more than twenty years experience in the geriatric health field. She provides community workshops and motivational seminars on caregiver, eldercare, and aging issues as well as writes articles and caregiver advice columns for websites and publications. She is also our featured Question & Answer Columnist here at the Empowering Caregivers site. Mary will be glad to answer any questions you have and can be reached at P.O. Box 573 Riva, MD 21140, or by email: email@example.com.
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A recent study of cancer treatment showed a lack of care for seniors suffering from the disease, according to a press release from Last Acts Partner the American Society on Aging (ASA). The Seniors Research Group
Comprehensive Smallpox Information Available at
HHS Secretary Tommy G. Thompson today invited all persons with questions about smallpox and the President's vaccination plan to visit www.smallpox.gov for comprehensive and up-to-the-minute information. Those who will be recommended for vaccination will want to study the issue,
The Hospice Institute of the Florida Suncoast is offering a free train-the-trainer program to help coalitions become a powerful resource for caregivers. Participants will learn how to promote and present the Caregiving at Life’s End program to members of their community.
Caregiving at Life’s End is a national training program to help family caregivers find growth and meaning in the end-of-life caregiving experience. It was developed based on a national needs assessment of hospice family caregivers.
The first training will be held in Florida from March 3-7, 2003. Additional sessions will take place in April, June, July and August. For more information, visit www.thehospice.org/inst.htm or call 727-586-4432.
AIDSinfo, a Web site offering comprehensive information on HIV/AIDS treatments and clinical trials, has gone live on December 2 to mark World AIDS Day. The site at http://aidsinfo.nih.gov merges two popular information services, the HIV/AIDS Treatment Information Service (ATIS) and the AIDS Clinical Trials Information Service (ACTIS). Catering to the needs of health care providers, researchers, people living with HIV/AIDS and the general public, the combined site provides a single, searchable resource of HIV/AIDS treatment guidelines and information about all federally funded and privately sponsored HIV/AIDS clinical trials.
HHS Secretary Tommy G. Thompson today approved Nevada's plan to expand the help it provides to disabled adults so they can remain in their homes and out of nursing facilities. With the change, Nevada will increase the number of people served under its home- and community-based waiver five-fold -- from 304 to 1,716 people.
Over 400,000 Americans have Multiple Sclerosis. There is no cure as of yet, but the good news is there is hope in treating MS. Breakthrough research and disease-modifying treatments are helping to reduce interruptions in MS patients' lifestyles.In addition to the TV broadcast, the MS special report is available for viewing in streaming video online, on-demand at: Healthysolutions
The Canadian Virtual Hospice will be an Internet-based interactive network that will enable the provision of mutual support, and facilitate the exchange of information, communication, and collaboration, between and among health care professionals, palliative care researchers, the terminally ill, and their families. Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov is a principal investigator for this program.
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design.
We always have enough to be happy if we are enjoying what we do have and not worrying about what we don't have.
When you seek to reconcile with another person, begin by asking God for guidance. I often pray: "Help me seek to understand and not just lay blame. Help me seek to appreciate and not just accuse or attack. Help me to build a bridge of connection. And if I am rebuffed, help me to find peace nonetheless, for knowing I have done my part.
Mary Manin Morrissey
The greatest discovery of the 20th Century is that our attitude of mind determines our quality of life, not circumstances
Dear Gail and all,
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
The Three Wise Women
You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don't you?
Happy Birthday Cinderella
Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"
"Bet you're sorry you neutered me now.."
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