Wishing you all a wonderful Mother's Day filled with much love, light, peace and joy. If you are caring for your Mother, take time to be fully present. If there is something you are harboring, move into forgiveness and let go.. love is the greatest healing power there is in this Universe.. Open your hearts to receive and send out only love....compassion and healing thoughts.

Links to articles at the site for Mother's Day

Compilation Of Authors on Mother's Day

Ideas For Mother's Day

KISS: Keep It Simple Silly

Long Days Or Precious Moments

Long Distance Caregiving Activities

My Great Regret

That Final Goodbye

May your journey be gentle and beautiful!
In Love & Light,
Gail
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Apple Pie

Apple Pie is a very real depiction of the challenges faced when a parent is living at a distance. This daughter is a child who grows up to be her Mother's best friend as they navigate Alzheimer's disease together. In this particular case study, the story takes on a Mother's Day theme.

The caregiver interview and analysis following the story, illustrates many useful coping strategies that worked in this situation for this family. These care solutions may prove useful for others dealing with similar challenges.

.........a daughter is a child who grows up to be a friend. In this story, the daughter becomes her Mother’s best friend as they navigate Alzheimer’s disease together

My mother, Shirley is 82 years old; she lives in Indiana; I live in Los Angeles. Although Mother remains vibrant and highly independent, there are moments when she has episodes of short term memory and confusion.

One rainy Sunday Mother calls me up, "Dear, I'm baking an apple pie this morning, how many apples shall I peel?"

Now, I wondered at this, as mother has always been an expert baker. "Well Mother, I think perhaps 6 apples should be sufficient. A few minutes later the phone rings again. "This is your mother calling, dear. I'm baking an apple pie, and I am wondering how long should it remain in the oven?"

I assured Mother of the approximate baking time. I was hardly surprised when the phone rang 45 minutes later. "Dear, this is your mother. Do you think the apple pie is ready to come out of the oven? It looks golden brown."

"Mother, it smells delicious.” The aroma of cinnamon is wafting to me over the telephone.

"Good", says Mother, “Out it comes from the oven, and I've set two plates out; I shall slice us each a piece dear.”

"Lovely!" said I. And Mother & I enjoyed this special moment over a piece of warm apple pie.

The above story evokes childhood memories many of us have shared with our own mother.

The interview with the daughter follows:

Do you worry about your Mother living so far away?

I try not to attach worry. Mother has lived in Indiana all her life; her roots are there. Many of her friends remain living close by. I would love to have her living closer by us, but she simply will not leave her roots. And the other thing. Independence has always been very important to Mother. Keeping her as independent for as long as possible outweighs the worry.

And what suggestions could you make for other families having loved ones living at a distance?

Keep in touch as best you can and just know that your loved one is alive and well. I chat with Mother just about every day. Somedays, she doesn’t remember that I have called.

Find out as much as you can about the local resources where your loved one is living and remain connected with these resources.

And Mother has a wonderful neighbour, who keeps me posted of any happenings.

Talk about some of the things you have in place for your Mother to maintain her safety and independence.

As mentioned earlier, Mother’s independence is very important to her. She always has been an ‘in charge kind of gal,’ and the thought of becoming dependent frustrates her terribly. So what I try to do, is focus on Mother’s strengths, and what she still does really well.

We have Mother connected to the Life Line as a safety measure, in case of emergency, or if Mother should fall, help is just a phone call away. Apple Pie.

Gwendolyn welcomes your questions/comments at gmdegeest

Gwendolyn deGeest RN, BSN, MA

Gwendolyn deGeest RN, BSN, MA is the author of “Bathing Sparky” She has been working in dementia care for over two decades and has witnessed the joys and sorrows of families struggling to maintain a quality of life for themselves and their loved ones. Gwendolyn’s thesis, “The Relation Between the Perceived Role of Family and the Behavior of the Person with Dementia” is published in the American Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, May/June, 2003. This work was presented at The International Congress of Gerontology, Vancouver, Canada. Gwendolyn resides in Vancouver, with her family where she is a professor.

E-mail: gmdegeest
Web Site: www.cruiserespite.com
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Top Of Page

IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW! Get Answers to Your Medicare Questions with Medicare Interactive (MI), your one-stop source for information about health care rights, options and benefits. Click here for details.

MEDICARE PART D

Date: Friday, June 2, 2006
Time: 9am - 2pm
Place: Hostos Community College PerformingnArts Theatre
450 Grand Concourse Bronx, New York)
Free of Charge
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Caregiver Topics With Leeza on Walgreen's Health Corner TV

Explore Caregiver topics with Leeza on Walgreens Health Corner TV, a show which “explores today’s most important health and family issues with America’s top medical experts discussing the latest information, treatment and research.” Health Corner Television airs on the Lifetime Channel, Sunday mornings at 9:30 a.m. EST (website www.healthcornertv.com).

• May 14: Caregivers with Leeza Gibbons: Honoring Your Sacred Memories

• May 21: Caregivers with Leeza Gibbons: Moving Your Loved One Into a Long-Term Facility and How To Get Over the Guilt

• May 28: Caregivers with Leeza Gibbons: How to Be a Caregiver and Still Keep the Romance In Your Relationship Alive

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StrokeAlert!

Stroke is the Country's No. 3 Cause of Death and a Leading Cause of Serious Disability

Are You at Risk?

Close to 700,000 people experience a new or recurrent stroke annually. Nearly 28 percent of victims are under age 65. Women account for more than six in 10 stroke deaths annually. Find out your risk during May, American Stroke Month. The American Stroke Association invites you to participate in a FREE stroke risk assessment and screening program - StrokeAlert! - taking place at a location near you.

FREE Stroke Screenings
May 19 - 26, 2006
Call 1-888-4-STROKE Today!
for a screening site near you.

Warning signs of stroke

• Sudden numbness or weakness of face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body
  
• Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
  
• Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
  
• Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
  
• Sudden severe headache with no known cause
  

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National Health Observances
May Is:

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion.
The great task in life is to find reality.

Iris Murdoc

If you must begin then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to haunt you all the time.

Chogyam Trungpa

Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, or evil can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it.

Henry Miller

I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow.

Julia Cameron

You may never know what results come from your action.
But if you do nothing, there will be no result.

Mahatma Gandhi

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Buddha

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.

Emerson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself.

Erich Fromm

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.
Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

Helen Keller
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Special Food For Thought

When we judge ourselves harshly, we dramatically diminish our ability to merit love and achieve the success and abundance the world reserves for those most valuable. When we base our actions upon the belief that we lack what it takes to deserve rich relationships, material wealth and happiness, we trigger those very things we fear most. '...we can stop the erosion of our self-image. Doing so will allow us to focus on restoring the magnificence that is our true intrinsic nature. Restoring confidence in ourselves and in our ability to achieve happiness and fulfillment and tap into the world's abundance will soon follow.

Joe Rubino
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Some of our old (Baby Boomer) favorites have been re-released.

The following songs are on a new album. Highlights from the album include:

Paul Simon--'Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver'

Carly Simon--'You're So Varicose Vein'

The Bee Gees--'How Can You Mend a Broken Hip'

Roberta Flack--'The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face'

Johnny Nash--'I Can't See Clearly Now'

The Temptations--'Papa Got a Kidney Stone'

Nancy Sinatra--'These Boots Are Made For Bunions'

Leo Sayer--'You Make Me Feel Like Napping'

Commodores--'Once, Twice, Three Times My Back's Out'

Herman's Hermits--'Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker'

The Who--'Talkin' 'Bout My Medication'

The Beatles--'I Get By with a Little Help From Depends'

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